I’m playing on a PlayStation 2, the smaller kind, just like the one I used to have twenty years ago. I’m playing The Sims and have downloaded a bunch of NSFW mods, like, truly filthy.*

The morning after I see my siblings chuckling and I realize they know. Somehow, they know about my shameful virtual pastimes. But how could they? They must have been stealing my PlayStation while I was outside!

I’m so angry I grab my sister by the throat and slam her to the floor, I want her to confess she used my videogames. She chuckles again, says the PlayStation was hers to begin with. I yell that I bought all the expansions!! I wasted so much money!!** The game is my God-given right!!!

Gran is here, all dressed up because one of my uncles died and they are all going to his funeral (jeez, I hope I actually extended his life instead!). I take the chance to hide the PlayStation parts around the house, hoping that my siblings won’t find it.

I go into my room and my sister is in her bed, pretending to sleep but fully dressed. I’m very suspicious. My bed is upside down, for some reason.

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*I did that IRL too, guilty as charged.

** Again, true.