Hazy, confusing dreams. A man and a boy sneaking into a wedding party, having their portrait taken with a dog. Kristen Bell lost in a foggy marsh, doesn’t want to turn into a green monster. My dad asking if it’s all a dream, I assure him it’s not. Sweeping my bedroom’s floor. Danny De Vito dressed like a toy cop, climbing down a long ladder.
Author: Decade Dream Journal
Never Slept In A Dorm In My Life
I dream that I’m in a college dorm room, hiding under my bed covers, but I can’t relax or masturbate or read Mickey Mouse comics because there are too many people around.
It’s All Blurry And Confused This Morning
I dream that I’m watching a Dark episode, but also living it, jumping up and down the timeline. I go back home and study the mailboxes and the gate to figure out what year is this.
I’m really hungry when I get home, I want to eat breakfast. My mother says to go to the apartment upstairs, where my brother, who’s also Magnus from Dark, is hoarding and selling cereal and other breakfast items. My father comes along and tries to sneak out a bag of chocolate cookies.
This Is A Long One Folks
I dream that a tiger cub wanders into my living room. It’s night and I’m the only one still up. He’s afraid at first, but soon he’s in my lap purring. He’s even getting along with my cat.
The next day we try to find out where the cub came from. We call the vet clinic and they say he ran away after one of the doctors, a guy named Maycon, committed suicide. Incredibly, we are allowed to keep the cub until they find a proper home for him.
We bring both pets, cat and tiger, on a trip with us. We visit a futuristic facility where they are creating VR videogames.
I’m told to sit at a machine in the middle of a giant room, there’s a gaming chair elevated from the ground and surrounded by screens. Below there’s a desk with multiple computers, the woman sitting behind the desk is the director of the project. My family is looking up with interest. The tiger cub and my cat are wandering around the room.
My body is scanned so my avatar will look realistic. I find myself sitting inside a futuristic car, a race is about to start but I can’t drive! “What do I do?” I yell, panicking. “Floor the pedal!” I hear my dad yelling back. The program changes to a horse race and I don’t fare any better.
The director is disgusted at my incompetence. When it’s my brother’s turn she asks him what kind of games he likes. I wish she had asked me as well. As my brother plays (as Ranma ½ , and dismayed about turning into a girl) the director looks me over and says, “some people just lack intelligence”.
I grab her by the lab coat and hiss,
Not everyone is the same. I may not be good at videogames, but I have emotional intelligence.
When it’s time to go home we board a super fast train, it’s bright red and looks so modern. Again, my cat and the tiger cub are wandering up and down the train corridors.
We don’t have tickets, the other passengers are carrying their tickets on their wrists, like some sort of smart watch. The conductor comes over to scan the watches, my dad tells her we need to buy ours. She says, you can do that, or you can try your luck at our slot machine.
All the passengers without a ticket get in line, one by one they pull the lever of the slot machine, but nobody wins. When it’s my turn I pull the lever and the machine blinks and whistles! I’m excited for a moment thinking I won a ticket. The conductor is impressed too, because apparently nobody had won anything in years.
The machine spits out a receipt. I read it, it’s a coupon for a pizza place from the town we’ve just left. It says I’ve won a lemongrass pizza. I don’t even know what that is, I’ll just have to give the coupon to someone else because it’s useless to me.
Creepy Toddlers Also Happen To Be A Specific Workplace Anxiety
I dream that I’m yelling at my sister in the living room. I look down and there’s a small toddler sitting on the table, looking at us with interest. She’s very thin and has a full head of brown hair. Her face looks serious, older than her age.
I’m told that she belongs to our neighbors’, so I pick her up and carry her to their window. They all look incredibly relieved to see her. As we talk, more and more toddlers start to appear. I realize that they are all adults being shrunken down and we’re in a Star Trek episode.
I dream that I’m at the store and there is a long line of customers standing all together. I yell that they need to social distance, they ignore me. The customer I’m serving passes me his credit card, but the reader has turned into a videogame and I don’t know how to reset it. The customer grows impatient and leaves in a huff. My cousin is so angry at me because I’m an incompetent loser.
On my way home I stop at a stationary store, I want to buy a bright yellow umbrella I saw from the window, but the guy inside says,
I’d love to give you the umbrella, bus someone else just bought it.
I’m now a Victorian girl and the umbrella I wanted was actually a book, The Count of Monte Cristo. I arrive at my cottage feeling dejected, then surprised and elated when I see someone has bought the book for me! I gather my siblings and read out aloud to them, they dissolve in giggles and “Well I never!”s
Not Reading A HP Book Ever Again The Author Is Canceled
I dream that I’m reading the 3rd Harry Potter book. The kids have to write essays on fashion history for professor Lupin, Harry has taken a lucky potion so his essay is as good as Hermione’s. Both their full essays are printed in the book and it’s weird how I’ve never bothered to read them before. Hermione’s essay is full of pictures, she went the extra mile and glued in magazine clippings. I wonder why she only talks about muggle fashion, shouldn’t wizards be included somewhere?
At Some Point The Dog Was A Little Girl
I dream that I’m working at the vet again, they bring us two dogs. One is a big, sweet yellow lab, the other is a Basset Hound. To help him relax I’m supposed to put earbuds in his big ears and have him listen to his favorite song.
That Is What It Means Tho
I dream that I’m coming back home after school, on the stairs I meet two smiling Brazilian women carrying coffee. They give me a cup for free, it’s piping hot and I spill most of it, but it’s sweet and delicious.
At home I tell my mother there are two women opening a coffee shop on the second floor of our building, she’s very suspicious because she’s a coffee snob but I’m excited about living in such a cosmopolitan place where you can go shopping inside your own building, it’s very Hong Kong. I try to go to the coffee shop but end up in a nightclub on the third floor. The music is deafening and nobody is social distancing properly.
I steal a poisonous orange from my sister because I hate her and toss it in the park. I feel immediately bad because I’m afraid a dog will eat it.
And old lady with a handsome, intelligent face brings the orange back. She passes it to me over the fence and now it’s a piece of paper with a bird drawing on it. I put it back in my diary. She admires my art and tells me she likes birds so much she became an ornithologist. I tell her I also like birds very much. She gets angry and says,
That’s not what ornithology means!
I’m so ashamed I wake up.
In Which I Project Anxiety Anytime My Morning Schedule Is Slightly Different
I dream that I need to go to a doctor appointment (I did, this morning) but have to go to school first. There’s the town market on the way, I’m wearing flip flops and lose one, I have to go back looking for it in the crowd.
At this point it’s too late to make it to school, I get distracted on the way by a box full of stickers and washi tape outside a store. I sit on the ground rummaging through it. Various kids join me and also Dark’s Katharina Nielsen, who’s very interested in the cardboard box itself. I go inside to pay for my stickers, it’s a comic book store and the owner is rather nice, I tell him I’ll send over my brother to get some comics. I buy so much stuff, including a pizza. He says everything will cost me 5 bucks. I insist on paying at least 15.
Now I’m late for the doctor too. The only logic solution is to go back in time and start the morning again. I meet Eve and Villanelle from Killig Eve on the way. My doctor was fired (was it my fault??), the blonde substitute says I have cancer.
Sorry Mom
I dream that Berlusconi, the Italian politician, has to stay at our place for a few days. He’s a small man with a jovial smile, trying his best to win us all. I’m extremely suspicious of him. He gives us a giant TV, it’s ultra HD but you can only watch two channels on it, the ones he deems “acceptable”. The house is small so he has to share a bed with my mom. I ask her how that’s going, she says he sleeps in the middle of the bed like he owns the place.
Then I dream that I’m home sick but I still get calls from customers forwarded. I talk for an hour to a woman trying to explain how to create a safe account for her daughter. Then I go to the hospital with my friends. We’re in a different city and can’t find the building, end up in a mall instead. I have to do a neurological test. I’m Ellen Page for some reason.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 