Sleepless night.
Author: Decade Dream Journal
My Town Ain’t This Lively
I dream that I’m walking with my brother, on my foot I’m wearing a single flip flop. We arrive in front of the local church. A group of teens are selling a tube of washi tape, I ask how much, they say 50 bucks. I grab a kid by the collar and threaten him, he say he’ll sell it for 30. It’s still too much, and I shove him away. I enjoy being bigger and scarier than him.
We walk in town, my brother stops at a cafe with pale blue interiors. I wait for him outside and observe my surroundings: there is a store selling Christmas trees and I think it’s ludicrous in June. A few feet away a man is inviting customers to “China Town”, I see a crowd of people laughing and yelling and eating duck. My Gran is among them. I cringe because none of us is wearing a mask, then I remember that I always wear masks in real life so this might be a dream. I can’t be sure though, it all looks so realistic.
Trip to IKEA!
I dream that my Gran lives in a pretty little town. I go visit her. There is an IKEA nearby and a bus that can take us directly there so we plan our trip, but as we go I realize I forgot my purse and face mask, I have to run back to the house.
I collect my things and go back again. The town is beautiful, there are churches and a big white monument, I wish I could take pictures but the phone in my pocket is my old 2000s Nokia. I find Gran sitting at the bus stop chatting with some ladies. They send me to a nearby pizza takeout to buy our bus tickets, the owners speak German for some reason (maybe I am in Germany??) but they understand my English. They want to be paid in Marks, I’m confused because I only have Euros with me.
(I should add that while all this happened I was somewhat aware I was dreaming, I kept waking up and stubbornly going back to sleep because I really wanted to go to IKEA. I couldn’t tell you if it was a dream in a dream situation or I was legit waking up for a second or two.)
We finally reach IKEA and it’s nothing like the real thing, more like a bazar. There’s only one type of item I’m looking forward to: stationary! I spend ten minutes agonizing over washi tapes, much to the other costumers’ annoyance. I finally select one with fish illustrations. I’m moving on to stickers, when a woman stops me and ask for help picking a fountain pen. I’m wearing a red polo shirt and she must have mistaken me for an employee, she’s so disappointed when I tell her I’m not she violently wakes me up.
I’m Tired and… Bored?
(Having recorded my dreams for a few months now, I find myself thinking about the recurring scenarios I find myself in night in, night out; they are so mundane, so boring, so familiar by now.)
I’m out in town, it’s raining once again (even though it very rarely rains in real life), and again I forgot to wear my mask (I NEVER forget to wear my mask IRL). A cop stops me and I say I’m running back home to fetch it. He takes one from his chest pocket, it looks like a menstrual pad with strings.
I go back home and my sister is there and I don’t want her there and we argue. The same dream again and again and again.
Missing Man
I’m at school and it’s raining, I have a borrowed umbrella. My old crush, L., is fighting over me with another boy, the rest of the kids hate me because I’m always skipping class.
There is a man missing, an old friend of my dad. I set out with L. to go look for him, we eventually learn he was kidnapped and held in a stationary store’s basement. The store owners chase us, I run to the rooftops and find a knife; I use the knife to stab them and drive them away.
I then apparently forget all about the kidnapped man until the day after, when I tell my dad to go collect him at the store.
Hello Deep Seated Trauma!
My underwear is soaked in blood. I don’t want anyone to know, so I wash it in the sink. I don’t know how to dry it, I need to hide it.
In the living room my parents and siblings are gathered together, laughing. It’s raining outside. I need to go to school, but my mom asks me to go grocery shopping; sure, I’ll just skip school today, I don’t care.
Dad is upset hearing this. I tell him I don’t want to go to school anymore, I want to get a job, but he’s worried we’ll be in debt. No we won’t, I tell him, remember last year when I was doing both high school and college? Rules are stupid.
Mom is of course taking his side. I’m so angry at her, I grab and shake her. Why don’t you ever listen to me?! I say. She smiles a wry smile and doesn’t look at me. She’s small now, the size of a cat, and I lift her up and keep shaking. Why don’t you love me?! I yell. Why don’t you care about me?!
She doesn’t listen. She never listens.
Back Overseas
I’m visiting my friend C. and my great-aunt is also there for some reason, I wonder how the hell she got to another country but she seems unperturbed, just having lunch with the family.
C.’s mom asks me to glue a big ball (a light, maybe?) to the ceiling. They also send me out for groceries. I’m very uncomfortable because I’m not familiar with their town, I end up snapping at them.
A group of children is missing, they are all hiding inside an old theater. An orchestra is also there. I’m watching them, and the whole scene in front of my eyes is in black and white.
I Tried
I’ve even took a nap this afternoon but I can’t really remember any of my dreams.
More Cats Than Accounted For
It’s Christmas and I have a bunch of cats in the house that I never bothered to learn the names of, because the only cat I care about is my own IRL one. I ask my sister and she points me to a couple of tuxedos that are staring up at me with their big black eyes: the big one is Jacob, my sister says, the small one is Cole, short for “Colored Sunset”.
We move on to two orange boys; do they all come in pairs, I wonder. Sitting between them there is my IRL cat with her pink collar, I scratch her cheeks affectionately.
I notice a round, fat cat; he’s gray/brown and is covered in little, strangely neat spots, he looks like a vase. I ask about him, my sister explains a neighbor left him here and never came back to collect him.
Summer, Spring
It’s summer and I’m watching the night sky with my dad. The constellations are enormous and so clear, we can tell the images apart so easily. I point out a pharaoh, then a flying bat, then a gargoyle.
It’s Easter, I’m supposed to share a room with both my sister and my cousin, I am angry about it. I kick them out, then I realize I have to work with my cousin and she is going to make my life a living hell.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 