(I fell asleep angry at my mother and so I dreamed about yelling at her, which was very satisfying.)
Tag: anger
I Hardly Fight With Anyone IRL
I remember fighting with my aunt and my sister. That’s it. I’m always angry in my dreams and I don’t know why.
Some Snippets That As Usual Feel Like They Belong Years In The Past
I dream that I’m walking to school when I realize I’m not wearing a mask, I put a scarf over my face and run to the city market. I buy ten surgical masks from a stall and I’m so mad about wasting my money like that.
Then I dream that my sister bursts in my room upset because she no longer can become a teacher: she asked a friend to mail some forms and he sent the wrong ones. To make her feel better I tell her the same exact thing happened to me; it somehow makes her even angrier.
Then I dream that I’m playing a videogame with my siblings while simultaneously living it. We’re on a pirate island, swimming in the beautiful tropical water to look for treasures at the bottom. We’re about to enter a yellow building when my mom appears at our door carrying a plate of pancakes.
Snippets That Used To Be Much More Detailed But I Lost Them
I dream that I’m riding a rusty red tricycle across train tracks. Two girls in a car are yelling at me, say I didn’t look before crossing, but I did, I looked left and right.
Then I dream that a local greengrocer is closing forever, the owners are putting on a ‘woe is me’ show saying it’s the government’s fault. I happen to know they are scammers so I tear them apart.
Then I dream that I look at the calendar and it’s June. How can it be? I was just here looking forward our next cold spell? How did I miss so much time? Flowers are blooming outside my window. I despair. My mother says I was just sitting at my desk staring at nothing for months.
I’m Not Even Bothering
to write this all down again. My sister comes back home. I’m upset. I don’t want to share a room with her like when we were kids. We fight. I’m a ball of rage and anxiety. I’m convinced it’s all real and only waking up brings some relief. I’m so sick of dreaming about this.
My Family Has Lived In A Mountain Village For Generations
I dream that I’m staying at a hotel. It’s pretty quiet until a mom with a bunch of kids arrives (or maybe she’s a teacher?). Nobody in their group is wearing a mask and I’m pissed about it. One of the kids, about eleven years old, brown hair, gawky, eats one of my stickers. I forgive him.
Next morning I’m roped into shooting a documentary. The film crew drives me to a town sitting on a hill, they go on about how it’s much smarter than building on a taller mountain. I’m pissed about that too. I stop at a local store to buy some snacks, everything is outrageously expensive. I’m told we are going to shoot on a beach next, I’m upset because I just want to go home. Plus I got my period, along with the snacks I have to buy pads. I go looking for a bathroom and can’t find one. The crew is growing impatient.
In Some Dreams Sis And I Go Along Perfectly Fine, And Then There’s This Other Kind
I dream that my sister is back home, again. With a wicked smile, she hints that she’s reading this blog, this carefully anonymous dream journal of mine. I’m so, so angry and upset. I shove her to the ground and choke her with all my might. It takes a moment, but my parents realize she can’t breathe and separate us. Not done, I run to the bathroom, grab a pair of scissors and cut all her long, auburn hair. I know this is the end, our relationship will never recover from this.
Creepy Toddlers Also Happen To Be A Specific Workplace Anxiety
I dream that I’m yelling at my sister in the living room. I look down and there’s a small toddler sitting on the table, looking at us with interest. She’s very thin and has a full head of brown hair. Her face looks serious, older than her age.
I’m told that she belongs to our neighbors’, so I pick her up and carry her to their window. They all look incredibly relieved to see her. As we talk, more and more toddlers start to appear. I realize that they are all adults being shrunken down and we’re in a Star Trek episode.
I dream that I’m at the store and there is a long line of customers standing all together. I yell that they need to social distance, they ignore me. The customer I’m serving passes me his credit card, but the reader has turned into a videogame and I don’t know how to reset it. The customer grows impatient and leaves in a huff. My cousin is so angry at me because I’m an incompetent loser.
On my way home I stop at a stationary store, I want to buy a bright yellow umbrella I saw from the window, but the guy inside says,
I’d love to give you the umbrella, bus someone else just bought it.
I’m now a Victorian girl and the umbrella I wanted was actually a book, The Count of Monte Cristo. I arrive at my cottage feeling dejected, then surprised and elated when I see someone has bought the book for me! I gather my siblings and read out aloud to them, they dissolve in giggles and “Well I never!”s
Maybe Gravity Falls?
I dream that I’m about to watch a cartoon season finale, the writing hasn’t been good lately but this episode seems to have great reviews.
It’s revealed that the kind, round-faced sheriff has been the villain (a terrifying demon) in disguise all along. The Doctor, Rory and Amy Pond chase him down the rapids using a quilted canoe that somehow stays afloat. And I’m also there, I suppose, looking forward to the confrontation.
We reach a small island in the heart of the swamp dominated by a tree with giant roots. The villain quizzes us, he seems rather calm and charming. What’s next, I ask excitedly after I answer his questions. More quizzes? Fisticuffs?
He takes me back to my house, tells me to jump over the balcony to my neighbor’s kitchen. I’m afraid, but he promises he’ll catch me if I fall. In the kitchen I find my neighbor and her sister, I immediately get mad at them (and the sister was an old lady who recently died IRL, what the hell, brain?!) I accuse them of always criticizing my weight and my looks and my life choices. I’m still yelling when the alarm rings, and for a few moments I’m utterly confused.
Back Overseas
I’m visiting my friend C. and my great-aunt is also there for some reason, I wonder how the hell she got to another country but she seems unperturbed, just having lunch with the family.
C.’s mom asks me to glue a big ball (a light, maybe?) to the ceiling. They also send me out for groceries. I’m very uncomfortable because I’m not familiar with their town, I end up snapping at them.
A group of children is missing, they are all hiding inside an old theater. An orchestra is also there. I’m watching them, and the whole scene in front of my eyes is in black and white.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 