Do Your Worst Weird Dreams, Nothing Can Shock Me Anymore

Posted on October 4, 2020October 4, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that I’m going shopping, but first I need to pee. The bathrooms are located underground, I take an escalator and find myself in a long queue of girls. Maybe I can convince them to let me go first? I say out loud,

I REALLY FUCKING NEED TO PEE!

Another girl has said the exact same thing at the exact same time. We look at each other. Maybe we can share the toilet? One cheek each?

It’s our turn. The bathroom we step in is dark, gritty and enormous, with impossibly high ceilings, almost as if it was built from an underground cave. There are at least two toilets in the vast space, sitting high above the ground. A lot of people are watching, but I can’t afford to care. I need to go. I climb to the toilet and sit and… no pee comes out. How is it possible?

I have to wake up and run to the toilet for real.

I’m in a car with my whole family. My dad is driving, but he’s not paying the road any attention. Instead he’s reading something. I realize with horror it’s one of my old journals! Actually, all of my journals are here.

Furious at this invasion of my privacy, I grab them and get off the car. I end up in an old building, it’s dark and my old elementary teacher is there, wearing a black veil and smiling a wicked smile. She’s as ghastly as I remembered, I hate her so much I start to choke her. She seems to enjoy it. I have sex with her, it seems like the logic thing to do.

I’m Just Casually Jumping Between Nested Dreams At This Point

Posted on October 1, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that I find a note under my bedroom door. It’s from my sister, it says

Before coming to the living room, close your eyes.

I’m excited because I’m convinced it must be a surprise birthday party, then I remember that my birthday is in April, it’s September now and my sister was just being mean.

I also realize that I’ve forgotten to take my pills, and I need the bathroom, now!

The bathroom is busy. My only chance is to wake up and away from this nightmare. I open my eyes into another dream. I sigh out loud.

Circus Cats and Violent Delegates

Posted on July 21, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that I’m looking into colleges for when I finish high school. At the same time I’m also my current adult self, so I end up choosing a psychology degree, because it’ll help with my retail job, somehow?? I guess customers do be crazy.

At the same time I’m looking into buying a car, I select an old gray Citroën, extremely boring but it somehow only costs 400 bucks. I can’t even drive but that’s not gonna stop me! I lie in the back seat and smile and smile.

I go home and I find a dozen cats, most of them black. My own cat is conspicuously missing. All the cats are wearing circus clothes. I go fill the bathtub (it’s plastic, transparent blue), they all follow me and jump in the water. I start brushing them with soap and they all look very satisfied, like they’ve been trained for this. There is a white cat with a bleeding injury on her shoulder, and a gray tabby with his legs missing. There also a talking toy astronaut.

Afterward I’m walking home from school and decide to visit the local catholic church. I haven’t been inside the building in years and I don’t like religious institutions on principle, but here I go, and the church is packed so I have to sit on the marble steps.

A bearded man stood up and is now giving a speech a few seats from me. Another guy (I recognize him, it’s a local politician) attacks him, a fist fight ensues. I’m enjoying this more than I can say, these religious types and their hypocrisy! The politician notices I’m chuckling ant attacks me too, scratches my face. I say I’m just an innocent schoolgirl! I’m not though, I’m in my 30s, there’s blood pouring down my face and I’m still laughing.

Bathroom Adventures

Posted on June 15, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that I badly need a shower but can never find the bathroom unoccupied, right now there’s Captain America sitting on the toilet. Not pooping, just sitting.

I finally find a giant bathroom with glass doors, after I go inside guards arrive to lock the doors with heavy chains. The bathroom starts slowing filling with water. I notice there are other people hiding inside, one of them is Keanu Reeves. As we are all about to drown I spot a small hole in the ceiling and swim through it, followed by the other prisoners.

Outside we are greeted by heavy armed guards. I grab a red car and wave it in the air (I suppose I’m really strong in this dream?). The guards laugh in my face but they haven’t noticed the angry bull behind them. Entranced by the red car, the bull launches on the bad guys and mauls them. On the side, Keanu Reeves has efficiently killed some guards on his own.

My Subconscious Feels Always Guilty and Sometimes Horny

Posted on March 9, 2020March 9, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

My penpal C. has come to visit, but she looks very unhappy. I think she misses home, I feel guilty because I’m never the one going to her country, I only did it once. So I give her my phone and tell her to book a flight whenever she wants. She books one for that same evening, but I don’t let her finish and lead her in the shower, where I lift her in my arms and we start having sex.

My mother enters the bathroom to put wet towels on the heater. I yell at her to get out! Right! Now!!! She reads the room, chuckles and leaves. I’m so embarrassed, the door was locked, how did she get in? Did she unhinge it?!

The mood is ruined so C. goes back to booking her flight. She’s now a young black woman and I’m a young man with short dreads and a little beard. She’s mad at me because there are pictures of another woman on the phone. I try to calm her down and explain I simply put a stolen SIM card inside my phone, because my friends and I are trying to scam the owner. So it happens that my friends are the Critical Role cast.

Sweet Tooth

Posted on February 25, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

My mother tells me I cannot go to work because it’s snowing outside. I start to get dressed anyway, I know a little snow won’t be a good enough excuse. I call my cousin to ask how it’s looking, and suddenly I’m in her car and she’s driving me to the store. I’m mad because I still had to brush my teeth and wash my hair.

We stop to get breakfast at the bar near the store: now it’s a dark and golden, decadent pastry shop. I sneak in the bathroom to finish washing myself, it’s so small I get claustrophobic. My cousin has bought a slice of cake, I also go to take a good look at the pastries. They are magnificent, they have rococo name tags that make the place feel like Versailles.

I approach the ice cream counter and ask if they’ve got anything caramel. A man shows me green ice cream with a layer of thick caramel on top, he says it’s prehistoric mango and starts scooping it on top of a cone, then adds strawberry. I tell him,

You’re not gonna make me eat fruit when it’s snowing outside!

He looks embarrassed and puts the cone away. I go back to the pastries and ask again if there’s anything with caramel. The girl behind the counter shows me a truly enormous pastry, it’s shaped a bit like a lamp and covered in purple icing. I decide what the hell, I deserve a little pick-me-up, if it’s too expensive I can always pay with my credit card. My cousin tells me my pastry is embarrassing to look at and I will have to eat it in the back of the store, away from out customers.

We go to the cashier, who is Emma Pillsbury from Glee. She sees my big paper bag and wants to see the lamp pastry inside. When I show it to her she cries because it’s so beautiful. The pastry costs 4.15, so I don’t have to use my credit card after all.

(I did buy myself some caramel ice cream this afternoon. It was too salty)

A Slightly Creepy Building

Posted on January 9, 2020January 19, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I have a friend whose boyfriend wants to propose, I’m helping with the surprise by hiding a bed for him. She arrives though, I need to distract her, quick! I end up telling her she’s being cheated on. It works, she storms away and the coast is clear. It seems like such a brilliant idea.

We are in an old building, a bit unsettling. I go back inside my apartment and there’s a giant tombstone smack in the middle of it, made of red marble. Everybody laughs like it’s a great joke, but I read the name on it and it’s the tomb of someone old and sick, but of a 31 year old woman. Suddenly it’s not funny anymore and I need to leave the room.

I need to pee, badly*, but all the bathrooms in the building are men’s bathrooms. I seek the help of another friend who’s apparently a celebrity. She has a big bathroom all for herself, with a whole cleaning crew tirelessly working inside it. I pee and then start helping along and cleaning as well.

*Usually a good indicator I need to pee IRL.

DECADE DREAM JOURNAL