Work Day

I’m late for work, and I don’t even have my coat because I came home for lunch wearing my employee jacket. As I rush out in the cold my sister is sitting in front of the TV watching Sailor Moon.

In town I come across two old ladies, they are hanging outside an ice cream parlor and talking about phones. I stop and invite them to visit my store. They ask me if I’ve already done my homework. I say,

Ma’am, I’m 33.

The store looks exactly like my home, but there are a bunch of desks in the living room, with girls sitting at them working. Boss Lady calls to announce she’s running a fever and will have to stay at home.

I go to my room, where my cat is sleeping. Just then Boss Lady arrives even though she said she wouldn’t, and she looks pale and sick, with bags under her eyes. A coworker whispers to me that she looks horrible, B.L. turns around angrily and asks what we are talking about. I try to look innocent and say we’re just really worried about her. I go back to my job which is apparently cooking, and we are using Bluetooth plates to share recipes.

Now I’m watching (or living?) a movie about an Indian woman flying to Italy to visit her children and grandchildren. Her plane crashes, killing her husband. She is confined in an embassy, where she has a series of wacky hijinks with ladies of all nationalities.

The woman wants to reach her family in northern Italy, but a massive flood is stopping her. Meanwhile her family is watching the flood on the news: the pets recognize their owners’ grandmother on TV and leave on a crazy adventure to try and rescue her.

Pigs and Veggie Bowls

I’m at a hair salon inside the mall; my hair is big and bushy, Hermione Granger style, and I desperately need a haircut. The place’s owner is a scrawny guy with an evil smirk, he shaves off a patch of hair in the back of my head, so it looks like I’m going bald, and then kicks me out. I’m desperate because I’ll have to shave everything off now.


I wake up in the morning to find my sister sitting on the living room floor, I’m enraged because she’s supposed to be at her own house, I tell her that she’s not gonna sleep in my room. She locks herself in the bathroom and I start banging on the door because I’m late for school. I don’t know if I went to school at all these past days, I can’t remember. Then I realize that’s because I went to work instead.

I arrive in my classroom and I’m greeting by the usual philosophy teacher, he announces we are going on a school trip. A moment later I’m sitting at lunch in a hotel dining room, so I wonder how I got there if I was at home with my sister in the morning. We are given free food samples, they come in small packages and one of them is pink and says “tuna for cats”.

We are brought bowls of veggie soup, I’m about to dig in mine when another girl opens one of her little packages and pours some truly nasty stuff in my bowl, so now I can’t eat anymore. As I wait for the others to finish I happen to fart; it’s just a little toot, but there’s no hiding it so I say “Sorry” out loud. One of the teachers says,

There are some people that never apologize, and that’s bad. But there are also people who apologize when it’s too late and the room already stinks.

We are shown a video taken from a security cam in the city of Venice, where we were apparently visiting that morning. I see myself on the screen as the chubby teen I used to be in high school, I’m reading a book and some bad guys steal it. I chase them down some tunnels, I cringe watching myself because I run so awkwardly.

Now we are led outside, where we see a beautiful pink sunset against the mountains. I take some pictures of the sky and of some local kids that are doing somersaults. A group of pigs are crossing a little fence, they are also pink and shiny and beautiful. They are led by a girl and her grandfather, who is a white haired detective Columbo. I take pictures of the pigs too and my teacher says I shouldn’t because it’s rude. Columbo says it’s all right, as long as I send him prints.

Work Dilemmas

I go to the store as usual in the morning, but there are new coworkers I’ve never seen and all the desks are occupied. I sit on a small chair on the side, my boss sits next to me, opens her planner to scribble something, and I see she’s been testing fountain pens on a page. Enthusiastically I whip out my own journal and show her the pens I’ve been testing myself.

Then I remember I’m supposed to go to the job center and I’m already forty-five minutes late*. I sprint over and the building has been turned into an oriental garden. The employee I was supposed to meet invites me into his bamboo house and tells me it’s his birthday.


I’m at work again. I’m sorting out files when I noticed we’ve been selling bombs and missiles to our customers. I’m anxious about it, but they tell me it’s okay, that’s how life works and there’s nothing I can do about it.


*I did have an appointment IRL this morning.

This is a “My Alarm is About to Go Off” Dream

I’m late for school. Did I even go to school at all this past week?! I can’t remember, but I have the awful feeling the answer is no.

I’m running through town, it’s April but I’m wearing a t-shirt that says “Happy Summer!”, decorated with lemons. The sky is heavy and gray, like it’s about to rain. There’s a market in town, I think it’s odd because it’s not a Tuesday. Even though I’m late, I stop at a stand that sells notebooks to take a look; they are all a bit wrinkled, like they’ve been rained upon.

I suddenly realize I’m an adult and not in school anymore, I need to go to the vet clinic instead!* I can’t remember when my shift starts though, I rush back home and ask my dad. He doesn’t remember either. I missed work for the past two days, I can’t miss today too! Maybe if I told them I was at school instead. It’s an easy mistake to make, I’m sure they’ll understand.

No, I realize with even more panic, I don’t work at the clinic anymore, I need to go to the phone store instead!! But I don’t know the way, and it’s so late, and I don’t even have my coworker’s number.

And I wake up, just in time for work.


*My old job.

Morning Or Night Visit

I need to go to the hospital to get my blood tested. It’s almost 11 in the morning and I’m running late, but I decide to stop at a local bookstore.

Sitting at the counter inside the store there is my nosy, gossipy neighbor C. She eyes me suspiciously and asks me why I’m not at work. I explain I’m going to the hospital, she doesn’t seem convinced. A bit miffed, I ask if she has The Secret of NIMH books, she says absolutely not. I’m sure I saw a children’s book with Mrs. Brisby on it, right there near the entrance, but maybe I’m mistaken?

I don’t want to argue, so I leave the store. I look at my watch (I’m wearing an old analog watch on my wrist) and see it’s still 11. Then I remember the hospital does blood work only very early in the morning, so my neighbor must have thought I was lying! Also, I forgot all my prescription papers at home, and I somehow have in my pocket my old Nokia phone from fifteen years ago. I have no choice but go back home.

I explain to my mother what happened, she says there’s still a little time to go to the hospital. When we arrive, it’s 8 P.M. and the long hallways are bathed in twilight. There are a lot of people waiting, I see a young blonde woman lounging on a chair, she is wearing a lilac shirt and looks bored out of her mind.

(Photo by Alvin Leopold on Unsplash)

A doctor peeks inside the waiting room, she asks if there are any patients here to see doctor Hans (or a German-sounding name like that). Mom realizes this is who we need to see and chases the doctor in the hallway. I think maybe I won’t be waiting so long after all.

Late, Lost and Unkissed

Dad and I are watching a movie. It’s very experimental, during the opening credits we see the landscape running away as if it was filmed from a car, from a window here and a tree there certain images or words pop up, conveying a dreamy, hopeful mood. Dad is impressed and asks me if I ever saw anything like it. I say no.

The movie begins properly and we are both taken aback to discover it’s not recent, but a vintage one with Sophia Loren speaking a passable English. The scene is set on my house’s balcony and neither of us question that.

My penpal C. has come to visit, but every time I turn my back or move to another room I forget what she looks like, I keep needing to go check again. Eventually I learn that she has short blonde hair and a bit of a plain face (nothing like IRL C.): she looks like a less attractive Saoirse Ronan, but I’m not that pretty either so I think we’re reasonably well-matched. I want to impress her, so I tell her my family has an acting tradition; why, even Sophia Loren filmed in this house! C. likes acting, I reason, hopefully she’ll want to marry me and take my genes, even though we’re both girls and that’s not how it works.

I’m late for school! As I look for my coat she protests out loud. I need to go to these classes, I explain, or I’ll have to repeat the year come September. Her mom is now in the room with us, sitting in an armchair and talking about boys, oblivious to what’s happening. C. gets really, really close and pins me to a wall, I feel her warm breath as she asks me,

“Remember what we did to that donut last year?”

I whisper yes, she asks if I’d like to do that again. “Yes,” I say trembling,”if you want to.” She’s about to kiss me, when I wake up.

I fall asleep again and dream the same dream. Now I’m running to get to school in time, I have to attend at least 70% of my classes and I’m not about to skip them this afternoon. When I arrive though, I realize with horror I’m not in my usual class with the boring philosophy professor, I went to work instead! Except work is a greenhouse miles from where I’m supposed to be, and what’s worse, I’m not wearing any shoes.

Two friends come to the rescue, they are two young men. I get in their car and one of them borrows me his shoes, because we are the same size, don’t I know? I congratulate myself, I’m so smart for remembering such a crucial detail, my narrative skills are on point even when I’m dreaming. We are showed a flashback where the friend buys me a pair of cool shoes, yellow and blue.

(Photo by Maksim Larin on Unsplash)

The car crosses a bridge, I notice racists graffiti on the walls. I look at the time, it’s almost six and I only have one hour left to not completely waste my evening. Unless… unless I was actually in a coma, in a tank full of red water and electric eels, and I never left the house. I missed school, I’ll never graduate now.

Adventures in (fake) Baby Sitting

I need to leave the house in a hurry: I signed up for some classes and I’m late, but I keep forgetting something and having to come back. At one point I realize I even forgot my underwear, and there’s even a pretty girl laughing at me. My building is a maze (that’s another recurring dream of mine) and I can’t find my way back.

Eventually I’m ready and running through my town; the streets are more colorful somehow, people are wearing summer clothes and palm trees are greener, I feel like I’m in California. There’s a giant papier-maché head peeking out from a roof, it’s bright pink and I want to take a picture of it. But I’m late! And what’s worse, I suddenly remember I need to go to work, so I have no choice but text an excuse to my classes’ group chat. They all rage against my job, they say my boss is overworking me and paying too little.

Turns out I’m a baby sitter, my charge is a little boy named Marcus, son of a rich, somewhat bossy couple. I show his mother a painting on my notebook, tell her Marcus made it. She’s skeptical though, so I have to admit it’s actually by my friend F. But Marcus helped!