I dream that my brother and I are staying at my sister’s for a few days. She lives in the same building I rented my apartment in during uni. Is midnight and she came back home already, we’re waiting for dad to come pick us up, but now my brother is sick and I have to drive home alone in our old blue car. I’m almost home when I remember I can’t drive. I’m on a motorbike now, I don’t even know how to go faster, but I figure out you have to squeeze the handle. I get home and mom is in the kitchen, she says happy birthday. It’s not my birthday I say, but I check the calendar and indeed it is.
Tag: birthdays
In Which I Get Along With My Sibs For A Change
I read that I’m reading a book by Taylor Swift, I don’t like it too much so I’m planning to donate it to the local library. My brother is convinced this is his fault somehow, I tell him no, never, I might have a strained relationship with my sister but I love him no matter what.
It’s the twins’ birthday today, my mother is convinced they’re turning 13, it’s more like, 31. We have pizza, laugh, watch a movie about a pale girl possessed by a spirit. She lifts her mask and underneath she has three eyes, each a different color. My sister and I exchange an excited glance,
If she’s possessed, this means Beyoncé will actually voice Beyoncé!
we say together. Then the twins steal one of my old diaries, tease me about my high school crush.
The three of us go out for a stroll together, when we get to town I realize we all forgot to wear our masks. I fish in my bag for my spare one, my brother say no worries, he’s got them, and gives each of us a menstrual pad. That can’t be right, I think, but I glance around and everyone is putting menstrual pads on their faces, wings and all.
When You Wake Up Suddenly And It’s Like You Were Just There
I dream that the whole family is at a beach village, one of those Greek sea places with white houses and blue roofs. The sun is shining and it’s clearly summer, still groups of children are coming down stairs and alleys singing a Christmas song, I know it’s Greek because I recognize the world “aletheia”. Another group is singing in… Hebrew? That can’t be right, they don’t celebrate Christmas. Maybe they’re Copts.
As more and more relatives arrive I yearn to go back home and avoid them all, I beg my dad to drive me and he refuses. I walk instead, looking behind my back to see if he changed his mind. I fall asleep on a bench and when I wake up Dad has brought me home on his bicycle.
I want to take a shower but there’s a tray of burned cheese burgers in the bathroom, the smell is foul. My mom sits next to me on my bed and puts some sort of rust colored lotion on my face. Meanwhile, my brother is telling me that Dad is gonna take down our shower panels, that upsets me so much I throw a little, pathetic tantrum.
We sit around the table to eat dinner, both my grandmothers are here. My late grandma G. is slouching back on her chair, she looks like she has no bones and is about to plop on the floor any minute, like she’s made of jelly. I’m explaining to the both of them what 3D glasses are, isn’t it marvelous, I say, how everyone can now see holograms? They don’t really understand the concept. I say, imagine a big red billboard with the name of your favorite supermarket. With my glasses I also can see… I fish around for an actress they would recognize,
I can also see Sofia Loren projected on the billboard, waving at me.
After dinner, my brother attempts to hack into my phone to see if I ever visited a certain city. He’s not gonna find anything, I say confidently. He finds a panoramic photo that looks more like a painting. It’s from my point of view, it looks like I’m sitting in a shabby room. He changes the prospective and we gasp: on my lap there’s a dirty rat with a syringe stuck in its neck. It’s a terrifying close up.
Next I go to the store because it’s my old coworker S.’s birthday and we are planning a surprise party. I buy birthday cards and balloons from him, he doesn’t suspect a thing. I really need to pee though, and I’ll have to hold it because it’s not hygienic to use a public bathroom, Coronavirus and all. I can’t remember my credit card pin, I look it up on my phone, it’s the old Motorola my mom owned in 1997. It’s broken and I can’t seem to fix it and I really need to run home and pee. S. tries to fix it as well, he hands back something that is not my phone, I really don’t care, I grab it and…
I wake up and run to the bathroom.
The Rain In My Dreams Is Wishful Thinking
I dream that it’s my brother’s birthday and I bought him hand cream and mints. My sister hasn’t bought him anything so I win.
We decide to go downtown to look for a present, we walk out the gate and realize we forgot our masks. My sister runs back in and fetches two yellow fabric ones. It’s raining and as we walk through the park we notice that the people sitting at the picnic tables don’t have umbrellas and are getting soaked. I explain to my sister that those are German tourists, they don’t bother with umbrellas because where they come from it rains all the time anyways, it’s a bit like Londoners.
We arrive at a clothes stores, my sister shows me how to hang our bags from special magnets sticking from the cash register. It’s such an insider trick, I think, you can really tell she worked in a store before. My old Nokia is in my bag, one of the salesboys is looking at it with interest. It’s still a really good phone, he says. He starts chatting and telling us the story of his life, it’s very boring and we have to remind him to go help the long line of customers that has formed. One of the customers is a woman called Napoleon. She’s missing an eye.
I’m Just Casually Jumping Between Nested Dreams At This Point
I dream that I find a note under my bedroom door. It’s from my sister, it says
Before coming to the living room, close your eyes.
I’m excited because I’m convinced it must be a surprise birthday party, then I remember that my birthday is in April, it’s September now and my sister was just being mean.
I also realize that I’ve forgotten to take my pills, and I need the bathroom, now!
The bathroom is busy. My only chance is to wake up and away from this nightmare. I open my eyes into another dream. I sigh out loud.
False Nostalgia
I dream that I’m watching a movie sequel based on an old TV series, something Canadian, Green Gables-like. The actors are older now, adults, the main character has strawberry blonde hair. I go to youtube and listen to the old opening song of the TV series, it makes me so emotional I cry. The lyrics are in Japanese for some reason.
Then I dream to go to the 30th birthday party of an old schoolmate. Her house is on top of a hill, I climb there and she’s older but still beautiful. Why didn’t I ever date her? I wonder. She puts some disgusting food in my mouth and I remember: oh, that’s why. I wash and wash my mouth but the horrible flavor won’t go away.
Work Dilemmas
I go to the store as usual in the morning, but there are new coworkers I’ve never seen and all the desks are occupied. I sit on a small chair on the side, my boss sits next to me, opens her planner to scribble something, and I see she’s been testing fountain pens on a page. Enthusiastically I whip out my own journal and show her the pens I’ve been testing myself.
Then I remember I’m supposed to go to the job center and I’m already forty-five minutes late*. I sprint over and the building has been turned into an oriental garden. The employee I was supposed to meet invites me into his bamboo house and tells me it’s his birthday.
I’m at work again. I’m sorting out files when I noticed we’ve been selling bombs and missiles to our customers. I’m anxious about it, but they tell me it’s okay, that’s how life works and there’s nothing I can do about it.
*I did have an appointment IRL this morning.
Magical Night at the Lake
My boss is giving out birthday presents, I knew it, I knew she was generous! One of my coworkers unwraps a black console, and I gasp: is it… a Playstation 2? No, it’s a cheap Made in China rip-off. I unwrap mine, there is an old SNES inside. I already own one, though! Not to mention, the Super Mario cartridge in it is fake.
On my way home I stop at the local toy store, I’m planning to buy some toys to entertain bored children at work*. I choose a wooden truck, a white plushie and pink plastic goggles. The man at the register says it’s gonna be 18 bucks, I’m taken aback because I only have 20 in my wallet. It should be 12, max! The man points out I’ve taken two pair of goggles instead of one. I confess I can’t pay that much money and walk out the store.
At home my dad is opening some boxes that were just delivered. Inside there are black-covered Penguin books for my brother, we tease him but he insists he won them. I pick up one, Anne of Green Gables, and decide to enter a contest with it.
The night of the contest I present an essay on the book alongside a cake inspired by it: it’s lemon cream, honey and cookies. There is a big ceremony happening in a hotel on Lake Como, and all my family came along. It’s a summer night, the hotel garden is green and glistening, all the guests are dressed fancy and laughing pleasantly. I want pizza so I venture outside, order some from an intercom outside a big yellow gate. More of my family arrives and I find out they are serving pizza at the hotel, I wasted my money. A movie is being showed in the garden.
I win the contest, alongside three more kids from around Europe. The morning after we are gathered for a photoshoot on the lake. I choose what to wear, gray pants and a gray waistcoat to go with it, I feel very elegant. My hair is red, short and unruly, it gets bushier and bushier with the humidity until I look like Annie Warbucks.
Each of us is given a sign saying our name, our age and the title of our essay. Mine says I’m 18, older than the other kids. We walk in the lake and are told to hold our signs up and smile the wildest, happiest smile. Our pictures are taken. I review them later and they are not bad, I’m jealous about the professional camera’s quality compared to my phone’s. There’s also a photo of the cake I baked perfectly framed against the lake.
I want to send some of these pictures to my penpal C., but I decide I look too bad. Not the ugliest, because with my puffy hair I look a bit like my Grandma, but I don’t want C. to think I’m anything else than gorgeous. Instead I write her about a chapter from Anne of Green Gables that I really liked.
In it Anne is sitting in a wooden train car with her mom and newborn brother. A black woman walks in with a little boy, who is crying because he was too late to enter the book contest. The woman is about to get mad, when Anne’s mom asks his name. “Chemical,” says the boy.
“Well, I’m not gonna call you that, it sounds like a pill.”
Anne’s mother tells him everyone is tired and sad sometimes, he just needs to take a deep breath. The boy’s mom is so moved hearing these words that she takes the baby from the other woman’s arms and start breastfeeding him.
*I actually want to do this IRL.
Severed Sex
While channel surfing my family and I notice a church with a bell tower very similar to our city’s clock tower, tall and covered in reddish-brown bricks. I do some research and find out both towers were built by the same architect. The only difference are the colorful statues on the other city’s tower: they paid to have them painted, while ours are just simple brass.
Along with my siblings, I climb up a mountain road to see the tower from above. My boss is also there. From that far up we can even see the supermarket one city over, I’m confused because I’d never noticed it before. It was built recently, mi siblings explain.
I follow my boss to her villa, where I’m supposed to do some computer work for her. I point out that I’m gonna need two monitors, she reminds me she bought me a tablet and I can use. While we talk I try to subtly hint about my birthday coming soon, because I’m hoping she’ll get me a present. She’s a generous lady!
A young man bursts inside the house on a red fire truck. Boss Lady is appalled, so I assure her I’m gonna deal with it. I point out to the man that his father was here earlier today (also on a fire truck) to hook up with Boss Lady but had to come home empty handed. The man won’t listen to reason. He gets down the truck, leaves his penis neatly wrapped on a coffee table and goes to the living room to watch TV, saying he won’t leave until he’s satisfied.
Boss Lady’s secretary steps up, a thin blond man who looks almost ill. He says he’ll sacrifice himself for the good of the Company. An awkward hand job with the detached penis later, fire truck man emerges from the door with a big smile, declares himself satisfied, and leaves.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 