Dreams From Yesterday And Today

I dream that I’ve found my ideal job, at a cat hotel; and I don’t mean a hotel where people can interact with cats, but a legit hotel for cats! My job is to greet guests, have them “seated” at a long table and bring them food. I’m supposed to be talking to them with a serious voice, but everything I say is beyond gleeful and delighted. “Oh hello Mr. Patches, what can I get you today?” I am VERY good at this job.


I dream that I’m a little girl living in a secret underground city, I’m an orphan and nobody likes me.

Upset Stomach? Here’s What My Mind’s Gonna Conjure!

I dream that I’m looking into finally getting my driver’s license, I go talk to a rather nice lady who has set her office table behind a cute little church. She offers a good discount for driving lessons and I’m eager to tell my parents. They hear the name of the little church and pale. I ask why. Reluctantly they tell me years ago, during WW2, a group of famished villagers ate their own children inside that very church. There’s even a song about how they were eaten clothes and all and tasted like wool.

Snipsnipsnippets

I dream that grandma G. is alive and I’m at her place teaching her how to print from a computer. Then I dream that I’m babysitting a blond toddler, a butterfly gets in the room and she grabs it with her pudgy little hands, almost killing it. I also inevitable dream that it’s the first day of school and I don’t want to go, so many years have passed, all my classmates have grown up and moved on, and I’m still here.

Happy Summer!

I dream that I’m looking after a neighbor’s adorable baby girl, she starts throwing up and I call a doctor. I go out for a bit she’s dead and they’re holding her wake.

Then I dream that we’re about to sit at Christmas dinner with the whole family in our mountain house, I also invited a few friends, four girls from the early 1900s who are studying to become career women, lawyers, scientists etc. The table is outside and it’s night, a bunch of people arrive singing carols. My late Grandpa P. gets up and throws a golden key at the crowd, a man catches it and demands to sleep with me. I tell him to go to hell. We all go home on a rented bus, I’m distraught because I can’t find my jacket.

Hormones! *Shakes Fist*

I dream that my mom, tired of waiting for grandchildren, “borrows” some of my eggs and brings back a baby; the father is a famous Japanese actor, and the baby is indeed beautiful, with a black tuft of hair and a big, infectious smile. I want to keep him forever, I know this is just a dream and I pray I’ll never wake up.

Fat Shaming! Kidnapping! Pee!

I dream that I’m watching a movie? Or at least I think so, I’m not there but Eddie Murphy is. I also notice he’s very fit, even though he was rather fat in Coming 2 America.

The good guys are trying to find a kidnapped two-year-old, he disappeared from his house and nobody saw anything. His young mom is at home now, she also has a baby and has just put him to bed. Someone climbs the stairs to her apartment, we don’t see their face. They sneak into the baby’s room and give him a tranquilizer shot. Suddenly the mom comes back and they hide behind the open door. They jump on her, give her a shot too. She says

God, you look awful

and falls asleep. When she comes by, the baby is gone.

(I also dream that I’m showing my classmates a new line of backpacks made with human pee. They’re biodegradable and colorful, I’m not surprised to learn everybody wants one.)

Maternity Wish

I dream that I’m taking care of a cousin’s kid, it’s a baby with blue eyes and a blonde tuft, she’s beautiful and she can already babble even though she’s so small. After a while she starts crying for her mom, and I’m heartbroken because I don’t want to give her up.

I go get food for her, the supermarket is just one room and it’s got a bed in the middle, it looks like my mom’s bedroom. Then suddenly I’m on the beach and embarrassed because I’m in my underwear and didn’t shave. My cat is there, she’s running and crashing into the waves with no fear whatsoever.