Some Travels

My Gran needs to buy cream but we need to walk quite a long way to find some. I try to leave my heavy bags behind on the grass, but I can’t bring myself to it. Instead, we hire a boy to carry the bags for us, he’s struggling with them but doesn’t complain. We arrive at a big villa full of cheerful, mostly middle-aged people, they are all creatives gathering there to commune and write. The boy reveals he’s also writing a novel and sits down at a table to work with us.

Then I dream that I have to wake up (true, it was seven in the morning!) but there’s also a Doctor Who special on TV I really can’t miss. The new Master turns into Missy for a moment, it’s really blink-and-miss, I want to rewind but can’t because it’s on stupid TV and not Netflix. The Doctor travels back to a time slightly after the Mary Poppins movie. Dick Van Dyke is there as an older version of Bert, I wonder how much they paid him for the cameo. Jane and Michael are older too, they’re walking down the street. Michael looks like a preteen now, but has a full beard, red and curly. How did they even achieve that, CGI? The special ends and I get frustrated because it either was twelve minutes long or I only caught the end of it.

Lost Jackets, Lost Shoes

I’m a soldier sitting at a table in my own IRL living room. A fellow soldier is sitting next to me. We are searching through a pile of jackets belonging to prisoners, one by one we rip the seams with a pocket knife, searching for hidden money or keys.

There is a journalist hiding in the room, taking pictures with his phone. We grab him, try to force him to release the phone, but he says the public has the right to know what we’re doing! We have to call one of our special agents, a skinny guy with glasses and a lab coat on. He smiles gleefully in a disturbing sort of way, gives the journalist a drug. I shake the scientist’s hand, it gets covered in spit. His mouth is full of spit too, he reminds me of a boy I was forced to sit next to in middle school.


I go to my usual salon and look around for F., the man that always cuts my hair. I notice stairs that weren’t there before and go up to the second floor: F. is on the balcony smoking, a balcony that looks almost like mine. I tell him about my new job and how I urgently need a haircut, he’s very happy for me and tells me to go fix an appointment.

( Photo by Guilherme Petri on Unsplash )

Downstairs next to the register are standing Naya Rivera and Heather Morris. They look older than what I remembered, Naya is wearing a baseball cap and stinks of alcohol. They greet me because we went to school together, ask how my cat is doing. Hearing this, my sister walks up to show us the cat inside her tote bag, it’s a white and brown kitten that looks very unhappy. I get mad at my sister, how can she just walk around with a poor kitten like that! She ignores me and skips the line, so she can pay for the roasted potatoes she apparently bought at the salon.

I suddenly realize I’m not wearing my shoes and I don’t remember taking them off. The place is now filled with hundreds of people. I try to look outside in the yard, but I’m chased away by the Golden Girls. Inside a child is arranging hundreds of shoes in a long train on the floor, I pick them one by one but can’t find mine. Then a thought occurs to me: I’m wearing no shoes because I’m in actually in bed! And I wake up.

Fantastical Mountains

I’m on a quest with a party of adventurers, we’re trekking the mountains of a fantasy land. I come across a samurai who challenges me to a duel; we can’t fight up here though, we need to go back home, somehow. Eventually I borrow a big, heavy falchion from a companion and transfer my consciousness inside a town robot, big and awkward and clunky like something out of Machinarium.

The city is cold, but I feel terribly hot because my body is still up on the mountains. A cop shows up and tries to arrest me, I fight him without talking because, even though I look like a robot, he’d still recognize my voice.

Back to the mission, one of our party’s secret agents, a woman in the body of a little girl in pigtails, sneaks inside a mountain house. Her plan is to hide for a few hours, but she’s discovered by the place’s owner, who happens to be Meryl Streep. Meryl sees the little girl wearing a floral pinafore, hiding under her bed, and assumes she’s an orphan escaping from the war. She decides to adopt her. News of her generosity spread and more and more children show up at her house.

( Photo by Christian Löhner on Unsplash )

Now our prospective zooms out, from the green peaks to the blue planet we’re on to the blackness of space to a second red planet orbiting around us. I’m sitting behind my computer screen and fixing sliders on my sim world, because I’ve been playing a game all along.