I dream that I’m in the city at night when I notice a new store. I think it’s a hardware store at first, but… no! It’s a supermarket! I’m overwhelmed with joy. Finally, finally I won’t have to travel miles for groceries.
I reach the entrance, and there’s a giant statue of a clown looking down on me, shining in the night lights. It’s not a supermarket after all, it’s a circus. I take a deep breath and enter.
I dream that everyone I ever worked with through the years is in my house. A former boss is looking for a phone, I only have a novelty landline shaped like a clown.
We sit for lunch and my parents start fighting, everyone is looking at me with pity, like suddenly they understand why I have issues. I try to talk to them but my sister is having another tantrum and nobody can hear me. There are glass shards on the floor and I start sweeping them. My dead grandpa is there.
In the evening I go to see a show. My cousin is sitting at the ticket booth, she tells me an inside joke, her manager is upset. Inside the theater a 40s movie is playing starring Miley Cyrus. Next to me is sitting the movie’s director, he tries to touch me inappropriately. I get up and go sit with my cousin, he’s very upset.
I’m back at school. The teacher is a woman, she looks a bit like a jerk; she asks how everyone’s internships are going, I raise my hand and explain that all internships are on hold until April 4th because of Coronavirus*. The teacher says don’t worry, she’ll find an activity we can all do together in the afternoons. I’m appalled because I was really looking forward to some rest and free time.
All the kids take a service elevator to the basement, it’s just four metal bars connecting a platform to a thin roof and it looks very unsafe. I take the stairs instead. I reach my class and we all sit in front of a clown, who starts entertaining us blowing swirls of smoke inside giant soap bubbles.
The blond kid sitting next to me starts punching my arm. He must be the school bully, but he grows to respect me once he realizes my arms are so strong after working at the store. The clown scolds us for talking instead of paying attention, then he says with a scorned tone that there’s someone in the room who doesn’t believe in his magic. I think he’s talking about me, but instead he points at Sabrina Spellman, who’s sitting behind me. The clown invites her to try his tricks, she blows a giant soap bubble and the smoke inside it is shaped like perfect little skulls.
When it’s my turn, I simply say I don’t smoke and up and go back home. I meet an old woman at the gate, she asks me if I’m new in the building, I say I’ve been living here my entire life. Then she asks if I have any kids, and for who knows what reason I choose to lie and say yes. She asks what their names are, I answer with my and my brother’s names. She says they sound familiar.
I step inside the building and the doors are all wrong. I walked into a maze again and by now I know it’s because I must be dreaming. I’m not gonna find my way home unless I wake up, but how am I gonna do that? I have with me a package just delivered to my brother, I start reading out loud the list of items inside the box, and just like that I wake up in my bed (not really, I’m still asleep, but in the dream I’m convinced I woke up). I decide I must have sleep-walked from the school to my room, and that’s a great trick to have up my sleeve.
*That’s unfortunately true IRL
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 