Tag: coronavirus

Now I Really Want To Eat Fish For Some Reason

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

Even though all restaurants are closed, my dad has heard of a place where you can get fish takeaway. All the family piles up in our small car and we pass around the paper where dad has scribbled down the menu, my pick is roasted prawns. We arrive just in time for dinner, in the dark we can see a truly long line of people standing too close to each other: it’s dangerous, but the air smells so good and we all get in line anyway. A red-haired woman is talking and laughing with a friend, she’s a too close to my face and I yell at her. While I’m busy arguing my family has forgotten all about me and is already eating.

We drive back home and now my aunt V. (rest in peace) is with us. It’s a simple conversation, something about how good I am with tweezers, but it feels lonely and bittersweet.

We arrive home and now they are planning to take my sister out for desserts, I want to join but my parents say it’s too risky. I go out on my own, it’s raining and all the stores are deserted. I feel guilty about not wearing a face mask, but I want to get some exercise so I start running up and down a crosswalk, ignoring the traffic lights because there is not a soul around.

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Soscial Distancing!

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m walking in town, it’s evening and there are way too many people around doing their shopping, hardly anyone is wearing face masks. I am both anxious and angry. I take an escalator going underground, I’m sandwiched between a small crowd and yell,

You are all irresponsible! My grandma is immunocompromised, you are going to kill her!

A woman gets really angry at me. She is short and middle aged, with a bob of brown hair.

The escalator brings me to an underground train station− it’s not the subway though, just regular trains. A black haired girl who’s just arrived with her boyfriend waves at me, I can’t for the life of me recognize her, she must have mistaken me for somebody else. Still I ask her why she’s outside, she says according to the local news the pandemic is a hoax. I give her a long list of more reliable news channels.

Now I’m walking on a grass path in a sunny sea town. I’m still sandwiched between long lines of people and so mad I start yelling again. A bearded man glares at me, he’s wearing a fedora and underneath the brim of the hat his eyes are glowing red. He wants me to prove I’m in any danger, but I can’t. Confused, I crouch behind a wall and stare at my hands: sparkles fly from them. I realize then I’m in a virtual reality and everyone is safe. My mission is to find rainbow daffodils, I start pouring water on every flower I see hoping it’s what I’m looking for.

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Pandemic Sure Has Added Another Layer of Anxiety To My Recurring Dreams

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m grocery shopping with my cousin, we find an aisle in the supermarket stocked with every kind of face masks: they are expensive, truly outrageously expensive, common surgical masks cost 20 bucks apiece and there’s one single N95 mask, orange, that costs more than 600 bucks. Still, we’ve been looking everywhere and we really need those masks, I want to call my dad and ask what to do but once again I only have an old phone on me. I look for “home” on the contacts list and a stranger answers: he’s using my childhood landline number, I feel weirdly angry and protective.

We go to my cousin’s place and have fried fish and chicken for lunch. Then I go to school and my old philosophy teacher is there, but this time he’s teaching math, even better. He’s graded yesterday’s tests, on mine I only wrote down half of the answers and that half I copied. He’s really angry with me, he asks why, oh why am I so bad at math? I explain it’s because I’m smart, I’m so smart that in primary school I never learned how to study, everything was so easy. And now that math is difficult I cannot study to save my life. He says he doesn’t believe me.

I go back home and around the dinner table I explain the situation. I say I cannot even be bothered to learn my classes’ schedule. My mother is very worried, she says I’ll need to do something if I want to pass my finals. I say that hopefully this pandemic will be over soon, I’ll be back to work and won’t have to go to school ever again. Who cares about my finals anyway? Everyone is shocked and angry at me.*

My sister who’s also at the table sends me to fetch her boyfriend’s dog. I walk to town and start looking at every person walking with a dog, hoping to recognize her. I eventually find her, she doesn’t look at all like his real life dog but she’s limping just like her. She’s pooped all over herself and has to be rushed home to get washed, as we wait my sister and I walk into a stationary store. I hope to find stickers but only find pretty notebooks.

*I want to point out once again that I’m an adult, I’ve been out of school for 15 years and I definitely passed my finals back then. WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING ABOUT THIS.

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Walk and Show and a lil Panic

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

There is a toddler −maybe my little sister?− that keeps jumping in my arms from great heights, first from a tree, then from the stairs of a big marble statue. It’s so dangerous and I’m afraid I’m not gonna catch her next time.

My cousin and I are going to see a StarKid show in town, and it’s already my second time because I love it so much, even though I feel incredibly guilty about the crowd gathering in the theater. Not many people are paying attention though, I’m literally the only one cheering and clapping at the stage. A girl is listening to music too loudly and I can’t remember how to say to lower the volume in Japanese; eventually my cousin drags her away and I go sit in the first row. At the end of the show Lauren Lopez comes down the stage and kisses me on the cheek, “Thank you, Lauren” I say, breathless.

I tell my cousin I don’t need a ride home and I’ll just walk, but of course I get lost. I meet an old schoolmate, S., and ask her the way. She points to a tiny alley going down two rows of old stone houses, and I immediately know there are gonna be dogs behind the gates: since I’m terrified of dogs barking at me up close, I go looking for another way. I end up looking at a river banks, the stone buildings and the people playing on the sand are bathed in afternoon sunlight. Again, I feel bad about the crowd, but it’s all so beautiful I decide to take a picture and brag about it on social media.

I look in my pocket and I find a slim white watch. It’s not mine. In the other pocket there is a phone, old and broken and again, not mine. I run back hoping I just forgot my actual phone at the theater, but I’m panicking so badly that I wake up.

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Ooooh Anxiety

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I have a second job at a hospital, in a virologist office; I’m given a white doctor’s gown to wear, even though I have no idea what I’m doing. My cousin is also there but she is in her element, quick and efficient. There is a big square table in the middle of the room, with many patients sitting around it. Most of them are coughing. I’m terrified I’m gonna catch the virus too and get my parents killed.

My shift finally ends and I meet with my cousin and Boss Lady in an RV, I tell them I will be glad when the emergency is over and I can go back to work at the store. My cousin reminds me with her patented mean voice that I have two free mornings and there’s no reason I shouldn’t spend them at the hospital! It’s too much and I tell them I’m not going back to the hospital, I don’t know why I signed up in the first place, I don’t enjoy it like I enjoy working at the store, also I’m not qualified for it and I’m afraid I’ll get sick. Boss Lady gets utterly mad at me and fires me on the spot, I’m so upset I wake up.

I fall asleep right back asleep and the dreams continue. Now I’m home on the couch, and my mother is telling me my sister is coming back home. Sure enough here she comes with her suitcase, and I’m already su upset I tell her she’s gonna sleep somewhere else because I don’t want her in my bedroom. She’s angry as usual, I tell her I’ve had a horrible day and I don’t care if she’s just arrived home, I’m getting into the shower first. On the couch, my mother is calling all our relatives to tell them I was fired.

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Going Home and Watching a Movie, the Usual

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m walking home from work, on the streets I’m really trying to keep my social distance. Two little girls approach me, start to chat, they want to know how old am I? Where do I work? I try to send them back, tell them they’re not allowed to get this close to people. Their dad, who’s walking a few feet behind, apologizes. I tell him, look, your kids are nice, why don’t I give you my number and when all of this is over you guys can call me? He gives me his email address instead: I recognize the name, he’s one of my customers.

I arrive home and when I go up the stairs I see two teen girls laughing at me, I realize it’s because I’m not wearing any pants. I get inside my apartment and go straight to bed.

In the living room my family is watching a James Bond movie, it’s set during the Olympics and there’s a grand scene at the opening ceremony. Three of the characters sing on stage, the songs are beautiful and the lights are a spectacle, but I feel bad for the rest of the cast singing the chorus in the background, that always used to happen on Glee. Matthew McConaughey is there, he plays a character called “The King of Thieves”.

In the end James Bond dies and is put in an old coffin. I get up and my family tells me it’s too bad I missed the movie; they don’t know I listened to the whole thing from my bed.

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Guess What I’m Anxious About Today

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I walk to the store, but once inside I see it’s a mix between it and my old job at the vet clinic. There is a young man at the counter, I buy something and he gives me change from the old cash register I’ve used so many times. I’m a bit annoyed seeing that he doesn’t use gloves to handle the money.

I try to be nice to him anyway, I ask where my old buddy the cat is and he says I can go in the back to look for her. I see a ramp of stairs with a long-haired tabby sitting on it, I call her name (I can’t remember it but it started with an “S”) and she jumps in my arms. Then I see my old boss, the vet’s wife, coming out from a door and I don’t want to be caught in here again when I should be quarantined, so I leave in a hurry.

I’m walking back home and it’s a beautiful spring day, the sky is a perfect blue. I realize with horror there are too many people in town, why is nobody respecting the lockdown?! I come across a whole wedding gathering, people are crowding around the groom and wife and clapping and taking pictures. I have to walk between them and I hold my breath, hoping and praying I won’t be infected.

The Mayor walks past me with the police, I wish they’re gonna arrest everybody. I go home and decide to self-quarantine in my room for the next two weeks, because I really want my dad to be safe.

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In Which I Have Pandemia Anxiety and I’m Especially Worried About My Grandmother

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

Gran is in town, despite the quarantine, despite all. I’m following her, trying to make her see reason. My store is closed, but she finds a loose panel in the front window and sneaks in, while I beg her to come back. She says it’s alright, nobody is in here anyway. I see my boss’ coat on a chair and light coming from under her office’s door, realize we’re about to be discovered and drag Gran away.

Next she wants to go to the bank to get all her money back. She walks on the cold stone floor and sits on a bench, and I order her to at least put her mask on. She gets from her bag a diving mask that she patched up with some fabric, and I’m about to lose my mind with anger and worry.

I’m watching an old VHS tape, it’s a show that has Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles and Japanese boyband Arashi in it. My family is annoyed, they say the show is boring, and since I know the Queen is about to get into some lesbian shenanigans I take the tape out of the player and say we should go grocery shopping instead. But it’s late and we’re quarantined and the supermarket is closed, everything is closed and we’re about to starve.

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Wishful Thinking

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m watching Star Wars on TV. Darth Vader is on screen, he is not wearing his armor and his flesh is red, burned and bleeding. He removes his helmet too, we see two big eyes, long eyelashes and eyebrows wincing in pain. I realize he’s actually played by Hayden Christensen, I don’t know how they convinced him to come back! Even weirder, he’s wearing a black wig that makes him look like Snape or Kylo Ren. He yells in pain and anger, and a stormtrooper runs over to help.

Now I’m watching the latest Critical Role episode. The battles are beautifully animated with the same style as Gorillaz’s videos. The episode ends with Nott being teleported away, and Matt says goodbye because the show is quarantined like everything else.

I try to go back home, but it’s raining now and there are too many people out and about, I realize with horror. Why aren’t they all in lockdown?! We are all gonna get sick! I decide to hold my breath and try desperately not to touch my face until I’m out of the crowd. A woman tries to grab me by the hand to beg for money, and I run away.

I end up at the store, my boss’ boss is there. She wants to know if I prepared the list she asked me to, I lie and say it’s on my tablet. I’m saved from further embarrassment by my dad, who burst in waving a piece of paper with a credit card glued on it: the government has sent me money, to make up for the fact that I’ll be quarantined at home for months. There are 750 bucks on the credit card, and I’m really excited because I’ll be able to buy myself a new computer now.

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I Want To Go Back

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m at Venice’s train station, trying to get back home. According to the board there is one super fast train that goes straight to my town, it belongs to the church and one ticket it 380 bucks. I cannot afford it. As the train is about to leave the price suddenly drops to 160, and I still can’t afford it.

I wait for a slower, cheaper train, and finally I’m back home and can hug my parents. I have an electric fan going in my room even though it’s only march, and my underwear drawer is empty because my cousin stole them all. I tell her I want to go back to work even amid the outbreak.

Boss Lady calls me, says I can come back as long as I take a shower before going home from the store. I download a shower from the Sims game, the outdoor kind that uses bottled water. It’s so small I can carry it in the palm of my hand, Boss Lady is fascinated by it.

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