I dream that my friend C. has found a new, better friend, and I shouldn’t be jealous but I can’t help it.
Then I dream that we all pile up in a car to go pick my dad at the hospital. My mom is driving, it’s too late when I remember she doesn’t have a license.
Finally I dream that I’m walking in a beautiful meadow taking pictures, then I realize I’m in my pajamas, and I’ve left my camera at home too! On my way back I buy a bag of chips, inside I find a plushie of Death Note’s L.
I dream that my brother and I are staying at my sister’s for a few days. She lives in the same building I rented my apartment in during uni. Is midnight and she came back home already, we’re waiting for dad to come pick us up, but now my brother is sick and I have to drive home alone in our old blue car. I’m almost home when I remember I can’t drive. I’m on a motorbike now, I don’t even know how to go faster, but I figure out you have to squeeze the handle. I get home and mom is in the kitchen, she says happy birthday. It’s not my birthday I say, but I check the calendar and indeed it is.
I dream about a strange place where everybody is trapped inside a white underground world, also everyone has a clone. I think these people might be very sophisticated androids, as there’s s guy from the outside controlling them all. One android who looks like Gina Rodriguez feels the calling from the green windy hills outside, she wants to escape and the others are ordered to kill her. They accidentally kill her clone instead, and she’s free.
Then I dream I’m staying at my Gran’s and pretending I have a stomachache so I don’t have to eat her food. We go on vacation together, I park my car on the outskirts of town before joining her. Its s beautiful beach town, it looks European but the ocean is tropical; I take a lot of pictures. When it’s time to go I walk back to my car, a boxy little thing, white with blue accents. As I drive back to Gran I remember I don’t have a license, what will I do if a cop stops me?
I dream that I’m in a car and my mom is driving, she’s not wearing a seat belt and keeps going to the backseat at every traffic light, I’m very uncomfortable.We stop at an old lady’s house, she’s a Sim and her name’s Sylvia. She’s also a trans lesbian. I know all of this because I watched the Sims trailer.
We get to the market where my two grandmas (including the one that now’s dead) are waiting for us. It starts raining so I cannot walk to the stationary store like I hoped to. Nobody is wearing a mask, they don’t care anymore.
I dream that I go back to the store to bring coffee to my ex coworkers. They’re all busy and everybody ignores me.
Then I dream that my grandma’s boyfriend is driving me home. He’s completely reckless, his turns are too wide, he keeps hitting walls. He’s wearing sandals. I’m terridied.
I dream that I’m going shopping, but first I need to pee. The bathrooms are located underground, I take an escalator and find myself in a long queue of girls. Maybe I can convince them to let me go first? I say out loud,
I REALLY FUCKING NEED TO PEE!
Another girl has said the exact same thing at the exact same time. We look at each other. Maybe we can share the toilet? One cheek each?
It’s our turn. The bathroom we step in is dark, gritty and enormous, with impossibly high ceilings, almost as if it was built from an underground cave. There are at least two toilets in the vast space, sitting high above the ground. A lot of people are watching, but I can’t afford to care. I need to go. I climb to the toilet and sit and… no pee comes out. How is it possible?
I have to wake up and run to the toilet for real.
I’m in a car with my whole family. My dad is driving, but he’s not paying the road any attention. Instead he’s reading something. I realize with horror it’s one of my old journals! Actually, all of my journals are here.
Furious at this invasion of my privacy, I grab them and get off the car. I end up in an old building, it’s dark and my old elementary teacher is there, wearing a black veil and smiling a wicked smile. She’s as ghastly as I remembered, I hate her so much I start to choke her. She seems to enjoy it. I have sex with her, it seems like the logic thing to do.
I dream that a tiger cub wanders into my living room. It’s night and I’m the only one still up. He’s afraid at first, but soon he’s in my lap purring. He’s even getting along with my cat.
The next day we try to find out where the cub came from. We call the vet clinic and they say he ran away after one of the doctors, a guy named Maycon, committed suicide. Incredibly, we are allowed to keep the cub until they find a proper home for him.
We bring both pets, cat and tiger, on a trip with us. We visit a futuristic facility where they are creating VR videogames.
I’m told to sit at a machine in the middle of a giant room, there’s a gaming chair elevated from the ground and surrounded by screens. Below there’s a desk with multiple computers, the woman sitting behind the desk is the director of the project. My family is looking up with interest. The tiger cub and my cat are wandering around the room.
My body is scanned so my avatar will look realistic. I find myself sitting inside a futuristic car, a race is about to start but I can’t drive! “What do I do?” I yell, panicking. “Floor the pedal!” I hear my dad yelling back. The program changes to a horse race and I don’t fare any better.
The director is disgusted at my incompetence. When it’s my brother’s turn she asks him what kind of games he likes. I wish she had asked me as well. As my brother plays (as Ranma ½ , and dismayed about turning into a girl) the director looks me over and says, “some people just lack intelligence”.
I grab her by the lab coat and hiss,
Not everyone is the same. I may not be good at videogames, but I have emotional intelligence.
When it’s time to go home we board a super fast train, it’s bright red and looks so modern. Again, my cat and the tiger cub are wandering up and down the train corridors.
We don’t have tickets, the other passengers are carrying their tickets on their wrists, like some sort of smart watch. The conductor comes over to scan the watches, my dad tells her we need to buy ours. She says, you can do that, or you can try your luck at our slot machine.
All the passengers without a ticket get in line, one by one they pull the lever of the slot machine, but nobody wins. When it’s my turn I pull the lever and the machine blinks and whistles! I’m excited for a moment thinking I won a ticket. The conductor is impressed too, because apparently nobody had won anything in years.
The machine spits out a receipt. I read it, it’s a coupon for a pizza place from the town we’ve just left. It says I’ve won a lemongrass pizza. I don’t even know what that is, I’ll just have to give the coupon to someone else because it’s useless to me.
I dream that my mom is driving the new car we just bought. As expected, it’s a disaster.
I dream that I’m looking into colleges for when I finish high school. At the same time I’m also my current adult self, so I end up choosing a psychology degree, because it’ll help with my retail job, somehow?? I guess customers do be crazy.
At the same time I’m looking into buying a car, I select an old gray Citroën, extremely boring but it somehow only costs 400 bucks. I can’t even drive but that’s not gonna stop me! I lie in the back seat and smile and smile.
I go home and I find a dozen cats, most of them black. My own cat is conspicuously missing. All the cats are wearing circus clothes. I go fill the bathtub (it’s plastic, transparent blue), they all follow me and jump in the water. I start brushing them with soap and they all look very satisfied, like they’ve been trained for this. There is a white cat with a bleeding injury on her shoulder, and a gray tabby with his legs missing. There also a talking toy astronaut.
Afterward I’m walking home from school and decide to visit the local catholic church. I haven’t been inside the building in years and I don’t like religious institutions on principle, but here I go, and the church is packed so I have to sit on the marble steps.
A bearded man stood up and is now giving a speech a few seats from me. Another guy (I recognize him, it’s a local politician) attacks him, a fist fight ensues. I’m enjoying this more than I can say, these religious types and their hypocrisy! The politician notices I’m chuckling ant attacks me too, scratches my face. I say I’m just an innocent schoolgirl! I’m not though, I’m in my 30s, there’s blood pouring down my face and I’m still laughing.
I dream that I’m in the car with my dad, he’s angry and suddenly he turns into my cat, her claws gripping the steering wheel.
Then I have the usual dream about believing you’ve woken up but then realizing it’s not true and trying to wake up again and again, going up a level of consciousness until yes, you’re awake for real and you can tell the difference.
(Strange, that usually happen when I set an early alarm, but it’s Sunday today)
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 