I dream that I’m going to check a pair of shoes with Gran: my parents bought them and we have some questions for the shop owner. We get there and it’s not a shoe store at all, it’s a charity for used clothes. Did my parents steal from charity? The realization comes too late, they’ve already fled the scene and Gran is arrested in their place.
Then I dream about going to the movies in the evening, but there’s only a horror movie scheduled and I won’t be watching that! I buy some peanuts from a vending machine before leaving; somebody has bought a lot of food and left it in the bottom compartment, it’s still warm. There’s a group of people sitting at a table, eating dinner while they wait for the movie to start. I grab some shrimp and crispy pancakes and join them, blending perfectly in.
I dream that I bring a big sack of food to a little dark house. There is my Gran inside, along with a young woman and her little brother. They are very excited to see me and the sack, but I tell them not to get their hopes up, because there’s very little in it this time. We open it and there’s only bags of chips, and at the bottom we find a chopped onion. This will be useful, Gran says, tears of gratitude in her eyes.
I dream that there are three Beatles still alive. When they put on a live show they look like slightly older One Directions.
Then I dream that I have to bake a pie for the store, but the one my sister made is much better and I feel defeated. A friend (or maybe a famous chef?) comes over and has me taste his pie. The crust is amazing, but the filling is kinda sour. Maybe the fruit wasn’t ripe? No, he says, mine is just better.
I end up bringing my pie to an elementary school. Kids love it.
I dream that I’m watching a Dark episode, but also living it, jumping up and down the timeline. I go back home and study the mailboxes and the gate to figure out what year is this.
I’m really hungry when I get home, I want to eat breakfast. My mother says to go to the apartment upstairs, where my brother, who’s also Magnus from Dark, is hoarding and selling cereal and other breakfast items. My father comes along and tries to sneak out a bag of chocolate cookies.
I’m in my living room with my sister, and it seems like we have more pets than previously accounted for. I feel guilty because I’ve always poured all my love into my IRL cat and ignored all these other animals! I’m a monster.
There’s a poodle, its white curly fur all dirty like we never bathed him. There’s another cat, a tabby, and an orange robot monkey. The tabby brings a bowl of food to the monkey, who makes a disgusted face. I say pointedly,
Be kind!
The monkey obeys me and starts eating, but I realize there’s mostly hay and rocks in the bowl and take it away. My mother is sitting on the couch, she asks if she can have it. I say no, it’s dirty and the animals ate in it. She says it doesn’t matter, she can have her floss directly from the box.
I ask her if she’s really eating floss, she says,
Yes, the minty one. Can you bring it? It’s on my nightstand.
I’m in my house, but I’m also participating in The Great British Bake Off. It’s the finale, and the two other contestants are Liam O’Brien and Taliesin Jaffe; our assignment for the final round is “butter” and we rush into the kitchen –that is, my own house’s kitchen.
Taliesin definitely knows what he’s doing. I cut open a bread roll and start buttering it, making quite a mess; next to me Liam has dipped in oil a bruschetta and is now frying it on a pan, damnit, he’s gonna beat me at my own bread game! I fill my bun with soft goat cheese, because it’s white like butter, I guess. It’s still too plain and I’m starting to panic. What can I add, what can I add!? I remember I have some trail mix in the pantry and toss it in my bun, mixing it with the soft cheese. I add some sugar on top and slam it in the electric oven next to Liam’s bruschetta.
It’s now time for the judges to try out dishes. The three of us are sitting on bar stools in my living room, a screen behind us is showing our journey through the show. When it’s my turn the screen shows a young Asian woman dressed in a Brazilian outfit, dancing with a group of men in shiny jumpsuits. Wait, was I competing in Dancing with the Stars??
I know my dish is no good and Taliesin is gonna win, and indeed Paul Hollywood is very brutal when he tries it. The other judge, an unnamed lady, is kinder. I’m so disappointed I start stress-eating my buns and Liam’s dish, which tastes like cream and honey cookies. Mine is slightly better, I think, but not enough. As I shovel both the cookies and the buns down my throat, my mom, who in this dream is Angela Bassett, looks at me from the couch and shakes her head in disappointment. I know, I know, I’m gonna get so fat.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 