Tag: lesbianism

Old Grudges, Old Crushes

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

My sister comes back home because she broke up with her boyfriend, I am SO not okay with sharing a room with her again. In her bag there’s a lot of my stuff she must have stolen in the past, like my Bluetooth speaker. I yell that I won’t let her stay with me, and drag her bed away.

I go to my boss to explain why I can’t possibly come back to work even when the lockdown is over. While I wait for her I sit and chat with my old coworkers, when I see at a nearby table M., the girl I had a crush on in elementary school (it was actually middle school IRL, but apparently not so in my dream). M. is as beautiful as I remember, with olive skin, amber hair and deep brown eyes. She’s with her friends and hasn’t noticed me, so I decide I’m gonna wear all pink to look as pretty as I can. I wear a Chibiusa wig, but it’s too heavy and I take it off immediately. My own hair comes off with it, and I’m now a balding middle-aged man.

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Lonely And Quarantined

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

Once again I dream about having a girl over, she has black hair and is round and soft. We change in our pajamas and all I want is to caress and kiss her skin, touch her breasts under the fabric, but she’s too restless to sit down and give me what I want.

My mother is in the living room and she teases me about hearing my bed creaking. I tell her nothing happened, which is the truth, and shes a annoyed because I’m too “unflappable”.

I go back to my room and the girl is gone, and I can’t remember her face anymore.

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Future Girlfriend

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I meet a girl and I already know we’re gonna end up dating. She has long brown hair, glasses and an aquiline nose. Not too beautiful, but I like her.

We sit at the desktop in my bedroom to read and chat, she sees some dust on the nightstand and says I’ll have to be cleaner if we are to hang out. She eyes my bed and says she doesn’t like the way it’s positioned, that’s where I’ll have to put my foot down.

She’s got some quirks and is a bit annoying, but so am I. We’ll have to work this out because I’m lonely and I want a girlfriend so badly.

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When You Hate Your Family But Quite Like Pretty Girls

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I hear my siblings whispering, I know they’re plotting something. They bully and gaslight me and my father joins in, so I have no choice but run away from home. I can never come back.

It’s soon lunch time and I’m hungry, I find and open diner and order pizza, I’m asked to sit in a corner because of social distancing measures. The owner rolls her eyes at my pizza and says next time I should order a proper meal; I feel humiliated.

I call my therapist because I badly need some help, the voicemail says I’ll find her at the local park after 6 P.M., sitting in a plexiglass box for, you guessed it, social distancing. But at this point I can’t even remember what I was mad about, and I go back home.

My sister and cousin are forcing me to compete in a quiz show, filming takes place in a basement several floors below a local supermarket. We are brought to a room where a bunch of girls are getting ready, putting their makeup on etc. My sister teases me for never wearing makeup, she says I’m insecure and a coward.

I decide I’m not gonna compete after all, I walk in the middle of the room and announce to everyone that I’m quitting. The producers are saying I simply can’t, I should actually be the first to go on stage, but I take the escalator and leave.

One of the producers is following me up to the ground floor, she is a pretty woman with a black bob, green clothes and triangular eyelashes. She is telling me that I could win a lot of money, don’t I want money to buy… (she looks around in the dark of the abandoned supermarket floor) a Venetian mask? I say I’m not interested.

As I walk home I’m joined by my cousin, who was kicked out of the quiz show in record time. The woman in green is still following us, she says it’s because her car is parked nearby, but she looks sad and worried and I feel guilty because maybe she’s gonna lose her job because of me. I take her by the hand (so soft!) and ask her if she would like to stop somewhere for tea. She looks me in the eyes and smile. She really is beautiful.

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Outdated Technology

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m in a hotel bathroom taking out my contacts at the sink, they are green and gross but I get a weird pleasure from wiping them out.

My mother has bought me a cell phone, it’s red, vaguely horse shaped, and has a black and white LCD screen. In other words, it’s crappy and I’m a bit angry at her for wasting money on it.

They said it was a good phone on TV!

she explains, mortified.

Playing around with it I find a cool retro Sims game (with girls kissing!) and also a pretty impressive 8000 mAh battery. Now I kinda want the phone for myself but mom has promised it to my sister instead. I’ll have to apologize to her, won’t I?

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Okay Then

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I remembered everything perfectly when I woke up, but after 5 minutes it was all gone. All I can remember now is A: buying pizza for Gran (she has been craving it since the lockdown) and B: neighbor lady flirting with my mom. What, and I can’t say this loud enough, the hell?!

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Mountain Outing

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m with friends and family at our mountain house, we are all sitting around a wooden table. One of the guests is Sharon from FBE, I’m telling her all about my neighbor S. and how he’s like a brother to me. He’s also here with my siblings and they’re all cuddling with kittens, I try to take pictures but my phone layout is all wrong and I don’t know how to fix it.

We see a group of American tourists walking in our vegetable garden and plucking up our food like it’s a quirky, fun thing to do, I hang out from the second floor window and yell but they don’t hear me. I run downstairs and to the garden, I tell them I took pictures of them (a lie, since my phone is messed up). A woman says she’s gonna sue me for that, I say that I’m gonna sue them first for stealing!

Another of our guests is Alex Danvers, she’s my girlfriend but it’s a secret. I feel quite self-conscious comparing myself to her, she’s so gorgeous and I’m chubby, plus my hair has gotten so long since the lockdown started. She assures me I’m beautiful no matter what, then as a romantic gift she transfers a Pokémon to my phone, I don’t know how she managed it since I can’t seem to work my phone at all. I promise her I’ll visit as soon as the travel ban is lifted.

It’s evening and time for our guests to go home, I offer to accompany them. We walk down the mountain path, Alex and I a few steps behind, holding hands and hoping nobody will notice. About halfway to the village we stop at a tiny airport. My guests are going to take a small tourist aircraft, they stand on the landing strip and I can see under the floodlights dozens and dozens of people sick with Covid-19, all lying on stretchers and waiting for their turn to get on the plane.

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Haircut Troubles, Heart Troubles, School Troubles, Fitness Troubles, Troubles Of All Sorts

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I want to shave my head! All the salons are closed and my hair is getting so long it’s driving me insane (this is also true IRL). My dad and I drive to a beach house where Cousin G. is sitting on the patio, doing guess what? Yes, she has a buzzer and it’s giving herself a nice clean shaved cut.

I ask her to do mine too, dad immediately forbids it. She tries to trim my hair a bit instead, I look in the mirror and… she gave me a Mike from Stranger Things haircut! Angry, I grab the razor and shave off a big chunk of hair, now she won’t have any choice but finish the job.

My newly shaved head looks bulgy and knobby and the skin has a grayish zombie hue to it. I look like a cartoon villain! It’s absolutely horrifying, dad says it’s disgusting. Now I’ll have to wear a hat everywhere I go.

I’m dating A., my old best friend from elementary and middle school: I didn’t know she was into girls but she has revealed she’s −in fact− bisexual. I want to spend all my time with her and I’m dreading going back to work once the quarantine is over, because we won’t be able to see each other anymore.

We come back from school hand in hand, I’m wearing an awkward early 2000s polo shirt, the striped, tight-fitting kind. We get to my house and my Gran starts fussing over us; A. sighs and rolls her eyes, she says ,

At the start of every relationship there’s always a grandma butting in.

We are tidying up my room, Gran finds my report card hidden in a drawer and looks very disappointed. I tell her I don’t want to go to school anymore, I have a job, why can’t I just skip my finals and start earning money?!

Ashamed, I go to hide in the kitchen. Mom is there and she’s looking at my legs. Have I been exercising? She asks. I’ve been running a lot, I explain, alone in my bedroom since we can’t go out (also true IRL). I look down at my calves, they are incredible! Muscular and round and toned. They look completely ridiculous in the context of my wimpy, chubby body, I’ll have to diversify my fitness regime.

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Eerie Shopping, Eerie Cooking

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m inside a hospital with my mom, the ceilings are too high and the corridors are dark. I need to buy a pair of headphones, we look around for a store and end up in what soon we realize is a well stocked supermarket built entirely inside the hospital. We have a shopping cart now, mom starts picking snacks and coffee, the products are lit with artificial, sterile light and the ceilings are so high you can only see blurry darkness above you. There’s a general feeling of unsettling quietness. We finally come across a pair of headphones, mom says they’re too expensive (they cost a little more than 10 bucks) but I buy them anyway.

We have hired a professional chef to come cook dinner for us, it’s a chubby lady with a 1900s pompadour. My parents order pig stew and she gets to work extremely slowly, and while we wait she shows us a picture of the pig she’s cooking: the animal has a sad look in its expressive eyes, its head is bowed under the foot of a man standing triumphantly above it. I decide I’m not gonna eat the pig, even though the finished product looks juicy and smells really good. I order fried prawns instead and I watch as she tosses them into boiling oil along with big blue raspberries.

I never get to eat any of it, the morning after I try to remember why and I see myself as a young woman cheated on by her husband: to get over my sadness I end up sleeping with a beautiful lady guest who wants to recruit me as a spy. Now I’m so hungry I can’t stop crying, I start tossing things and yelling at my poor sister. I also need to pee so badly.

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I’m As Confused As You

Posted on by Decade Dream Journal

I’m watching “The Favorite”, it’s set in modern times and I’m so engrossed I feel like I’m also physically in the movie. In the first scene I’m walking in town and holding hands with Noémie Merlant: she is wearing black pants and her hair is short, she’s so beautiful. She whispers sweet nothings in my ear, I’m so happy I could faint.

We stop at a large fountain and she steps in and out the basin. It’s only for a few seconds, but I know − because I’ve read the plot of the movie − that during those seconds she lived for several hours in a parallel universe. Rebel Wilson is with me because apparently she’s gonna be my sidekick. She also steps in the fountain and I follow her.

Rebel and I walk into the new reality and I see around me signs of Noémie’s presence, like a wooden house that she obviously built. Olivia Colman arrives to greet us, she is a Good Queen and her hair is short and curly. She smiles at me and calls me “lover”.

We find a new fountain and jump to yet another reality: in this one Olivia Colman is Evil, long haired and she eats children. I also happen to be a little boy now, I’m no longer watching a movie but reading/living through a story book. I manage to appear back in my town for a moment, where I float in front of Ted Danson and beg him for help.

Ted breaks into a beauty parlor and tries every sink and toilet until he finds the right portal. He arrives at the Evil Queen’s 18th century palace, where he meets with his very own evil lookalike. Everybody is confused, but Ted has a plan: he claims the other one is the impostor! Don’t believe him? Check his emails! Indeed Evil Ted (who has long hair too) has been writing compromising emails, he’s arrested and in the confusion Original Ted, Rebel Wilson and I manage to escape back to our world.

It’s not over yet, Evil Olivia Colman has followed us. As her head slowly emerges from the beauty parlor sink, we get ready to fight.

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