I dream that I go back to the store to bring coffee to my ex coworkers. They’re all busy and everybody ignores me.
Then I dream that my grandma’s boyfriend is driving me home. He’s completely reckless, his turns are too wide, he keeps hitting walls. He’s wearing sandals. I’m terridied.
There’s a group of people taking professional nighttime pictures. I open a gate for them so they can work in a cool urban courtyard, but I don’t stay even though I love photography and I wish so much I could be part of this. In the corner of my eyes I can see their flashes bursting.
I go home and watch a Harry Potter movie. Umbridge is in it, and so unpleasant she actually materializes on my couch and starts bullying my sister and I.
Once again I dream about having a girl over, she has black hair and is round and soft. We change in our pajamas and all I want is to caress and kiss her skin, touch her breasts under the fabric, but she’s too restless to sit down and give me what I want.
My mother is in the living room and she teases me about hearing my bed creaking. I tell her nothing happened, which is the truth, and shes a annoyed because I’m too “unflappable”.
I go back to my room and the girl is gone, and I can’t remember her face anymore.
I meet a girl and I already know we’re gonna end up dating. She has long brown hair, glasses and an aquiline nose. Not too beautiful, but I like her.
We sit at the desktop in my bedroom to read and chat, she sees some dust on the nightstand and says I’ll have to be cleaner if we are to hang out. She eyes my bed and says she doesn’t like the way it’s positioned, that’s where I’ll have to put my foot down.
She’s got some quirks and is a bit annoying, but so am I. We’ll have to work this out because I’m lonely and I want a girlfriend so badly.
I’m once again with Boss Lady and my cousin G. It’s a sunny day, we are in a garden and I’m presented with a square wooden drawer with a bunch of holes on each side. My job is to insert a socket wrench in every hole and rotate the wooden panels until a certain font is selected.
There are high school kids playing volleyball nearby. My cousin wants to join them, I remind her she’s an adult now and can’t compete with them. The kids are mocking me, I become very upset.
Back home my sister also teases me about the giant tree house I built, with a big green vine to make climbing easier. I’m still so upset I yell at her, and then yell at her boyfriend. I tell him he’s an asshole, he can see how my sister is treating me, how she’s treating her whole family and he never says anything to her.
Back in my room, alone, I start crying. I whisper to myself that I only yelled because I’m so lonely.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 