Here We Go Again.

(I have an important appointment today so of course I had a series of nested dreams where I woke up and tried getting ready only to fail miserably.)

It starts always the same way, I get up and go take a shower. Then I accidentally flood the bathroom, or panic because I’ve overslept and it’s only ten minutes until my appointment. One time my sister asks her friends to barricade themselves inside the bathroom just to spite me and they all smell and have greasy white people dreads. Another time there’s a dozen workers dressed in bright orange, staring at me from the bathroom window. A couple of times I just fly away and start having sex with people on the streets, because that’s what I do when I’m lucid dreaming.

Can I Have A Lucid Dream Every Night Please

I dream that I’m trying to take pictures of a friend standing in front of a window. I realize that this is too big to be my window, and the city outside is too perfect, the old buildings bathed in twilight. This must be a dream.

I go out to explore this city that looks like mine but isn’t. I wonder if I can fly, but it seems like I need to follow the rules and map routes. My friend brings me to a small park, I can feel the grass blades dancing against my leg in the night breeze. I’m amazed at how detailed a feeling my subconscious can evoke, I know it’s not real but it feels real.

I’m now near my house, people are walking in bathing suits. I think that’s an excellent idea, and I conjure my favorite actress wearing a bikini, just because it’s a pretty sight to look at.

I arrive at some sort of terrace above the sea where people are sitting around tables, eating and chatting. There are rocky formations below and above, I start to climb. It’s amazing how easy rock climbing is when you know you are dreaming and there are no stakes. A rock falls down, I shout at the people above and they sidestep it, completely nonplussed. I lose my grip and feel no panic at all, just conjure a rope and hoist myself up.

The rocky climb turns into a rocky alley going up and up, flanked by quaint little houses. Two old women are walking along the alley arm in arm, I walk and chat with them for a while. They eventually go inside a house, and one of them says to me,

See you, ladybug!

My brain is amazing, I think. How can it come up with such brilliant dialogue?!

My Brain Is An Utterly Creepy Pervert But Produces Rather Good Cinematography

I dream that I have the power to make trees and plants grow. Then I dream that I can’t figure out if it’s 2020 or 2021, are my calendars new or old? This year seems quite tragic so maybe it is 2020 after all. My friends are equally confused, I tell them we should maybe check the date on our phones, that very idea blows their minds.

Now I’m going with my mom to a doctor appointment, I realize I’m wearing my pajamas and that can mean only one thing: I must be dreaming, I would never go out in pajamas IRL. Since I now know I’m dreaming, I’m free to go have sex with people. I take off a young woman’s pants, she’s stiff and obedient like a doll.

I end up in a store where I try some clothes on, they’re too small. The owner has a beard and speaks English with a Swedish accent. We agree on how much we hate teenagers. A movie is being projected in the store, it’s about Marie Antoniette, there are orgies and necrophilia and more orgies and vomiting, all very detailed and seen from below. A decapitated head falls down, its cheek squishes against the camera glass. All the while the audience is making disgusted little sounds.

Bi Bi Bi

I dream that my new keyboard is broken and key are missing. While out buying a new one I meet two young men, not even twenty, and give them comic book recommendations. They carry my bags home, we get inside my building: it has stores and bars and I can’t find my way in. This is my usual signal indicating that I’m dreaming, since I now know there are no consequences I have sex with the hottest of the two guys.

I go back out, still wanting to buy a keyboard at the computer store. The building hasn’t changed and that means I’m still dreaming. I know what to do, I prowl the streets finding someone to have sex with, and this time I pick a blonde older woman in a red dress.

I Have A New Neighbor!

I dream about prepping for my day at school, putting all my books and notebooks in my bag, determined to find out my class schedule this time— (Why do I keep dreaming about this?! As far as I can remember I had no problem keeping track of my schedule back then.)

(At this point I’m woken by my new South American neighbor, who is AS USUAL barking at her phone on the balcony next to my bedroom window. It’s 7:20 of a Sunday morning.)

I fall asleep again and I dream that I go knocking on the woman’s door. I’m welcomed in by the two sisters who used to live here twenty years ago: they are adults now and we chat amicably, catching up on our lives.

I finally reach the garden (how is there a garden inside an apartment?) where my new neighbor is standing. In my broken Spanish, I try to beg her to please, please stop screaming at her phone. She takes my hand and tells me her name is Marisol and she misses her family very much. Then we have to run away because the garden fills with smoke as the building catches fire. A group of firefighters that are actually child acrobats rush in after us.

By now I’m trying to wake myself up because I’m aware I’ve overslept. I have no luck as I keep finding myself inside another nested dream. Since nothing is real anyway, I decide to go outside and make people strip naked.