In Which I’m Stingy

I dream that I’m walking in my neighborhood, an old man stops me and asks me to return his Peanuts comics. I tell him honestly that I don’t remember him ever lending me any comics, when was it? 14 years ago, he says. His mom tells him to stop bothering me; she’s much younger than him, but I don’t find it strange at all. I take out my journal and say I’ll give something else in return, a sticker sheet, maybe? I regret suggesting it right away because all my stickers are precious to me. What about trading cards? I grab a deck, does the old man likes Lord of the Rings? No, he doesn’t. What about… I look through my cards frantically. What about Clint Eastwood? Yes, he does like him!

I give him two Clint Eastwood trading cards.

I Do Feel Guilty Now Because I Didn’t Feel Guilty There.

I dream that I come across the old neighbor lady who always takes shortcuts through other people’s courtyards and parking lots. A man asks her what she’s doing, she mutters something about being lost. I exchange a glance with the man and roll my eyes, to let him know she’s full of s***. As I walk away, the man yells at the old lady to go back to her country (!!). I figure, maybe she’s got senile by now and was really lost? Whatever. None of my business.

If Bo Beep Was A Holiday Sheep

I dream about two very old ladies looking for a garbage can. They look all around the neighborhood, even inside the kindergarten, but can’t find any. I tell them,

Go to the pharmacy: there’s a woman there dressed like a lamb holding a shepard peppermint stick. She is the garbage lady.

Unsettling Grandmother

I’m with my cousin in the building’s parking lot, we are about to go inside the basement door when a black cat approaches us, he looks very chill and not afraid at all. My cousin asks if it’s my cat, I say it’s not, because my cat’s eyes are green and this one’s are yellow.

We go inside and the building has now turned into a tall maze with different stores and events on every floor. This is a recurring dream of mine, and I tell my cousin I can never find my way out when the it changes like this.

There is a giant pharmacy on the first floor, then a stock exchange. My dad makes his way through the various businessmen, he looks like Ricky Moranis did in the 90s. He stars yelling,

I want money! I want money! I WANT MONEY!

and he’s so convincing that one of the businessmen cedes him the right to some old songs. We go through them to figure out how much they’re worth. They come mostly from pulpy old movies, but there’s also a Christmas album from the cast of the cartoon “Sing”.


They are filming a Spiderman VS Thor movie in my neighborhood, but it’s very low budget. I’m watching Spiderman jump on top of my gate, and I can clearly see he used a trampoline badly hidden under a blanket.

I follow the actors as they run down the streets I’m so familiar with. We arrive at my late Grandma G.’s house: she and my dad are sunbathing in the yard. My brother approaches her and asks,

What is your true form?

She open her eyes and I shiver because I’m sure she’s about to unleash some ancient, unspeakable Eldritch horror on us. But my brother dips his hands in water and gently tickles and massages her bare feet. My grandma laughs and refuses to answer. Instead she tells us to keep our soulmates close.

My brother says he met his soulmate in a videogame. Grandma says out loud the name of mine, but I can’t remember it anymore.