Mysterious Pastries and Paper Hells

We have a new kitten in the house, she’s honey-colored and real cute, I try to take pictures but my little sister is always in the way. I’m the middle one of three young sisters with long brown curls.

My old priest comes by to talk us into coming back to church, I’m not home but my two sisters are in their room, already tucked in bed. The older one, who’s about sixteen, asks him for takeaway pizza money, the house has big windows and a mother passing by is scandalized to see the priest bending over a bed, giving money to a half-naked teen. The older sister blackmails the priest into giving her more money because, she threatens him, she took pictures and she’ll release them! The parents come home and she quickly hides a photo album.

Meanwhile I’m in town, it’s a gray, rainy day and a guy named Peace texts me: he wants to meet at a certain pastry store. His coworker demands to know why, she’s a blonde woman with an 80s perm walking next to me. I google the name and find out it was some sort of… fairy tale themed place? My great aunt D., who’s also there, reveals that the store burned down months ago, maybe the guy would like to go to (she points) that pink donuts stand instead?

The truth is, the pastry store has reopened in a new, secret location that only great aunt D. knows, there is a hidden clue embroided with a red thread in her white shirt sleeve. She refuses to show us the sleeve, and later when she’s filming a Youtube video she CGIs it out, just to spite us. Her pettiness doesn’t work because I find the store on my own and I follow her to the nearby sea town just to rub it in her face.

There are too many people around, a crowd cheering on a parade. I try to get away but people surround me, a girl laughs in my face and I yell to keep her germs away. I can’t find my way home.

Now I’m a little boy, and I’m lost, my parents and two sisters have been searching me for years. I walk and walk until I can see the coastline, there are lions on the beach. Eventually I arrive in some sort of carnival town where everything is made of colorful papier-mâché. My family find me as I walk on a stage that is literal hell: there are paper flames and a paper Devil, blond with piercing blue eyes. He recognizes my older sister, the one who took pictures of the priest and is now a prostitute, and tells her she’s doomed.

I offer myself in exchange for her soul. The Devil lifts me by the armpits, looks into my big, childish eyes and can’t find a trace of sin in me. We go back in time and my sister is a pure young girl again, riding her bike with a purple helmet and a big smile.

Sweet Tooth

My mother tells me I cannot go to work because it’s snowing outside. I start to get dressed anyway, I know a little snow won’t be a good enough excuse. I call my cousin to ask how it’s looking, and suddenly I’m in her car and she’s driving me to the store. I’m mad because I still had to brush my teeth and wash my hair.

We stop to get breakfast at the bar near the store: now it’s a dark and golden, decadent pastry shop. I sneak in the bathroom to finish washing myself, it’s so small I get claustrophobic. My cousin has bought a slice of cake, I also go to take a good look at the pastries. They are magnificent, they have rococo name tags that make the place feel like Versailles.

(Photo by Eugenia Clara on Unsplash)

I approach the ice cream counter and ask if they’ve got anything caramel. A man shows me green ice cream with a layer of thick caramel on top, he says it’s prehistoric mango and starts scooping it on top of a cone, then adds strawberry. I tell him,

You’re not gonna make me eat fruit when it’s snowing outside!

He looks embarrassed and puts the cone away. I go back to the pastries and ask again if there’s anything with caramel. The girl behind the counter shows me a truly enormous pastry, it’s shaped a bit like a lamp and covered in purple icing. I decide what the hell, I deserve a little pick-me-up, if it’s too expensive I can always pay with my credit card. My cousin tells me my pastry is embarrassing to look at and I will have to eat it in the back of the store, away from out customers.

We go to the cashier, who is Emma Pillsbury from Glee. She sees my big paper bag and wants to see the lamp pastry inside. When I show it to her she cries because it’s so beautiful. The pastry costs 4.15, so I don’t have to use my credit card after all.


(I did buy myself some caramel ice cream this afternoon. It was too salty)