Don’t Read While Eating / Gross Content Ahead

Posted on May 21, 2021 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that my Gran comes over for lunch and she’s wearing a tank top, a mini skirt and high heels. She’s also dyed her gray hair dark brown. She explains that now she’s vaccinated she wants to live life to its fullest! I’m both amused and uncomfortable.

After lunch we sit to watch a Ben Stiller movie. He’s depressed because his girlfriend left him for another woman. He joins a theater group, they’re on stage with a magical gnome that looks like a dog but is a person. The gnome’s face gets grumpier and grumpier, he starts shivering and finally explodes covering the whole stage with poop. Ben Stiller yells,

I have shit on my teeth!

Fun Times.

Posted on May 12, 2021 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that my brother wants to go to Kpop idol college (HILARIOUS). I dream once again about needing to get my high school diploma (I GOT IT TWO DECADES AGO GIVE IT A REST BRAIN!!). And I dream about an old man watching me poop (TYPICAL).

As Usual

Posted on April 25, 2021 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that my sister is back; I want to go buy a new planner because mine has ran out of pages, how did I not notice? But I need to go to the bathroom first and my sister has locked herself in it. I try to poop in an empty cereal box on the balcony, but there’s a hailstorm and it’s just too much.

Adopt Me!

Posted on April 21, 2021 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that I’m walking home from the mall with my camera, taking pictures of dogs. A couple stops their car, they’re both middle aged and very handsome. They chat with me for a while, give me the local wifi password and some explosive, because their hobby is blowing things up, apparently? I see the husband picking up his dog’s poop, which I find very responsible too.

Some Hetero Content For A Change

Posted on May 23, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m at school; there is a “problematic” boy and a teacher provokes him into being violent, all so he can expel him. I’m outraged, I know he has a difficult home situation and doesn’t deserve this. I also think I’m in love with him. He’s blonde and not exactly handsome. I tell my teachers that I lost all respect for them.

I walk away with the boy. He has a job at a liquor store just right beside the store I work in, it must have been destiny. I tell him I haven’t worked in months though, because of the lockdown*. I go home and I’m bare footed, I keep walking on dog poop and it’s awful. I come across a group of volunteers cleaning the streets and picking up all the poop and I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Back at school the teachers are organizing a D&D game that is also a play. I’m on the losers’ side, and when the play starts our costumes are cheap and ugly while our rivals looks magnificent. We are still going to beat them though.

*Alas, true. But also, how am I allowed to go to school in the dream and not to work??

Landlords Are Generally Evil

Posted on May 14, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m looked in the bathroom and I have a toddler and a baby with me, they’re brothers. The older one is two and his name is William, he has pooped on his brother’s face and his diaper has flown out the window, so I’m scrambling to get them both cleaned. I end up having to call my mother for help, she’s very surprised at how I seem to have acquired two children. We carry them to my bedroom and there are two birds trapped inside, flapping around madly, a pigeon and a seagull.

I need a bottle of frozen water, there is a vending machine on the street outside my house but it isn’t working. I go look for a freezer in my basement but I get lost, my cat is with me and we run when we see the landlord is chasing us. I hide in an apartment that looks like it’s been the set of a psychological thriller. Then I finally reach home and run inside my room, I put headphones on and hit play on a discman just as the landlord walks in. I’m now a teen boy with curly hair, the landlord takes me under his wing and becomes the father figure I never had.

There’s a tweet trending, it’s an old Russian farmer complaining about her land owner. She films a video where the land owner is seen on a tractor destroying her fields and cackling like a villain. I’m very confused because the video is stop motion and obviously fake, but nobody else on Twitter seems to notice.

Round and Brown

Posted on May 13, 2020May 13, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I remember a collection of chocolate pralines, each with unique flavors like chewing gum, very American. They belong to my brother, but I’m also a little orphan and I’m trying to steal them with the other children at the orphanage, hoping the nuns won’t catch us.

Then I dream that we have guests over for dinner, the aunt and uncle I hate, and the next morning there is poop all over mine and my sister’s floors.

Pandemic Sure Has Added Another Layer of Anxiety To My Recurring Dreams

Posted on April 4, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m grocery shopping with my cousin, we find an aisle in the supermarket stocked with every kind of face masks: they are expensive, truly outrageously expensive, common surgical masks cost 20 bucks apiece and there’s one single N95 mask, orange, that costs more than 600 bucks. Still, we’ve been looking everywhere and we really need those masks, I want to call my dad and ask what to do but once again I only have an old phone on me. I look for “home” on the contacts list and a stranger answers: he’s using my childhood landline number, I feel weirdly angry and protective.

We go to my cousin’s place and have fried fish and chicken for lunch. Then I go to school and my old philosophy teacher is there, but this time he’s teaching math, even better. He’s graded yesterday’s tests, on mine I only wrote down half of the answers and that half I copied. He’s really angry with me, he asks why, oh why am I so bad at math? I explain it’s because I’m smart, I’m so smart that in primary school I never learned how to study, everything was so easy. And now that math is difficult I cannot study to save my life. He says he doesn’t believe me.

I go back home and around the dinner table I explain the situation. I say I cannot even be bothered to learn my classes’ schedule. My mother is very worried, she says I’ll need to do something if I want to pass my finals. I say that hopefully this pandemic will be over soon, I’ll be back to work and won’t have to go to school ever again. Who cares about my finals anyway? Everyone is shocked and angry at me.*

My sister who’s also at the table sends me to fetch her boyfriend’s dog. I walk to town and start looking at every person walking with a dog, hoping to recognize her. I eventually find her, she doesn’t look at all like his real life dog but she’s limping just like her. She’s pooped all over herself and has to be rushed home to get washed, as we wait my sister and I walk into a stationary store. I hope to find stickers but only find pretty notebooks.

*I want to point out once again that I’m an adult, I’ve been out of school for 15 years and I definitely passed my finals back then. WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING ABOUT THIS.

DECADE DREAM JOURNAL