I dream that my brother borrows me his comics (am sure hang up on those, huh). I’m reading my sister’s secret diary and when she finds out she’s incredibly mad, but I don’t care what she thinks, I hate her. A man pretends to be pregnant but it was only chalk hidden under his shirt. I go out with friends and order a burrito, which is actually a tomato.
Tag: pregnancy
Lost Presents
We find a bunch of children’s toys hidden in a closet in hour home, they are all still packaged and rather old, hidden there since the 70s. They are all strange and ugly, there is a naked Barbie with a giant stomach: when you open it, a little blonde doll with pigtails pops out.
A neighbor gave the toys to my mom to hide until Christmas, but she died shortly after and the toys were long forgotten. We decide now we’re gonna wrap them up for that neighbor’s children.
One of her children sits next to me at school, it’s the pudgy blond boy. I show him the presents and say they are for him and his siblings. What would he like, I ask, maybe colored pencils would be useful?
He asks what I’m gonna give to his older, already adult brother, I say I’ll give the toys to his toddler son instead. He thinks for a moment and say,
The toddler is also my mother’s child, but we will never tell him.
Frustrating
I’m about 80% sure I’m pregnant, even though I’m not showing yet. Who’s the father? Maybe my old high school crush? I have a vague recollection of being around him a few months ago, that must have done it.
After a few days I realize I’m TWICE pregnant. It’s not twins though, the second one is newer and extrauterine. I consult with a doctor, he explains I was already pregnant to begin with, so when I got knocked up again there wasn’t enough space and the new fetus settled in the wrong place. (How does my mind even come up with stuff like this?!)
I’m back to work, the store feels familiar and brand new at the same time. My cousin whisper-orders me to google how to polish diamonds, away from the customers because we don’t want them to know how rich we are now, do we?
It takes me a lot of time to type in the words, autocorrect keeps screwing them up. When I finally hit ‘search’, the firs result is,
I wish I knew.
Nobody on the whole damn world knows how to polish diamonds. Is alcohol okay? I wish I knew.
Soup and Wine
I’m building a pyramid of merch to put in front of the store (like I’m supposed to IRL tomorrow morning), except it’s not phones, it’s jars of chicken broth, each one in its brown paper box. One of the jars is empty, I fill it with cheap soup from a can and run around the store looking for the box. My boss is rather annoyed about it all, she takes me to the side and reveals that she’s pregnant with twins, so she’s going home.
Now there’s a bunch of children in the store and we are supposed to learn how to take care of them. We watch “Mary Poppins and the False Gospel“, a modified version of the beloved movie set during Hanukkah. Even in the dream I surprised this thing exists.
My middle school teacher, sweet Mrs R, arrives to continue the lessons. She draws and ink a really good picture of a man riding a motorcycle, and my dad starts coloring it with brown watercolors. I’m jealous because they are both such good artists.
On my way home I kill the mayor of a small town and take his ruby ring. By killing him I gained the right to own his big old mansion, I find a nice bottle of red wine hidden inside it. I go home and find my late grandpa P. sitting at the living room table. He loves wine so I give him the bottle and he’s rather happy.
An Heartwarming Tale Of Birth
I’m pregnant, what a magnificent excuse to not go to work! I avidly study the sonogram to find out what my baby will look like. I hope she has big eyes and angelic features.
The doctor says it’s time, we’re gonna induce contraptions in the morning. My mom argues it is not a good enough reason to skip my duties and I should still go to work; but I’m determined to take my chances. I pat my belly adoringly, it’s small and sits too high under my chest. I now know it’s twins.
When the time comes I give birth to, in order: a few yellow earplugs, some socks, and most importantly my twins, which are a couple of Pokémon, one white and fluffy and one blue and angry. They are so small they can sit on the palm of my hand. Mom rolls her eyes, I argue that at least some of the stuff I gave birth to is useful!
Babies and Portals and Kittens
It’s dark and stormy, outside my window I can see a tomato tree: not just a plant, it’s a big palm tree ripe with red tomatoes and shaking in the rain.
Everyone is my home is wearing a t-shirt even though it’s March, and I’m ranting about climate change. Remember when we used to have winters? Good times. My grandma is sitting on the couch caressing her belly. She’s pregnant, but she explains the baby belongs to a cousin and she just borrowed it for a while. Indeed a few minutes later her belly disappears and my uncle E. walks in the room to announce the baby is born: they named him Christian.
Meanwhile, my dad is doing some charity work for people with Down syndrome. A portal opens inside the organization’s building, and yes, it’s Doctor Who again. She walks in with her squad and leads everyone into the portal and across a long path filled with blue crystals and dangerous gases. After a long walk they emerge on the other side and the doctor collapses. Her companion, Yaz, kneels next to her and gets the psychic paper from her coat. It’s a leather wallet that, once opened, reveals a long string of photos depicting all of the Doctor’s past companions. Yaz gets mighty jealous.
Back home, I’m looking for my dogs* and cats. I spot a few black kittens playing on the floor, but where is my very own grown up cat? She’s hiding under the table! I take her out and the moment she comes in contact with the kittens, she merges with them. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle and the result is a single, slightly bigger black cat.
*I don’t have dogs, these were actually two dachshunds that belong to my boss IRL
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 