I dream that I’m in my bed, thinking about skipping school today, that’s gonna be fine. Then I remember that I’m an adult with a job. I slowly get up and I still don’t want to go. It’s raining outside.
My aunt, the racist lawyer, and her sister show up. I don’t want to see them, I try to jump off the balcony but that doesn’t work. I hide under my mother’s bed instead. My aunt bends down and finds me. I stab her, and stab and stab and stab. She is still alive, still smiling at me.
I dream that I’m at work and I’m told I’ll have to take a quiz on Monday to proven how much I’ve learned and my worth as an employee. I legit think, “This is gonna give me nightmares”.
I go back home in a bad mood. It’s raining, as usual, and yet there’s a farmer market along the street. I can’t find my building’s entrance (“Just like in my nightmares”, I think), I can’t see her but my mother is mocking me from the balcony, calling me stupid.
I dream that it’s raining and I’m late for school, again. As I rush out I see a delivery guy throwing a package against my door. I ask, what the hell?! He says
Miss, it’s raining and I’m tired.
Instead of going to school I find myself at the mall. It’s okay, I think, no one will ever know. Maybe I could even go to the black mall that only seems to exist in my dreams. I’d catch a bus ride if only I could remember the name.
Eden, maybe?
A man is following me, some kind of pervert. I call security on him. Great, now I’ll have to testify at his trial and my parent will know I skipped school.
What if they fail me this year? My sister is back home again and now we’ll have to compete for jobs as well. I decide I should look into hologram technology, if they’re realistic enough my sister will go back to her place and still feel like she’s having dinner with us every night.
I dream that I’m walking to school and it’s raining. I stop to buy some ham. If the dream wasn’t recurring enough, there are two identical supermarkets in the same town area. All I’m worried about is my ham melting because it’s too hot outside.
I come across a Christmas parade, I’m upset and I tell them it’s July! They accuse me of lacking Christmas spirit. I say,
I do have Christmas spirit. In December!
I walk past a crepes stand. My cousin takes me to a huge party in a nearby house, it’s too damn loud and I immediately nope out of it. Cousin is upset.
I go back home and watch a Doctor Who episode with my mom, who is apparently a Michelle Gomez fan. Then we watch Derry Girls, it’s an episode where they ice skate like their idol, Tonya Harding. A little boy falls in love with James and is stalking him.
I dream that I keep being late for school, I’m late in the morning, I’m late in the afternoon. I even waste time cleaning the mailbox outside my house, it’s raining so it really doesn’t make any sense.
Then I dream that I’m hiding a kitten and a little girl in my room. The child is about six or seven. I tell her to not make a sound because there’s a monster in the hallway.
The monster is my father. He finds the kitten and throws it against a wall during one of his tantrums. I eventually have to tell him about the girl too, and to my great surprise he doesn’t get angry. We end up fostering dozens of children to reap the government’s benefits.
We go check the spare apartment where we are storing the children. They all turned into stickers, and a few suffocated inside their plastic wraps. I wonder if it’s morally wrong to still use the stickers, they look real pretty even though they are dead.
I meet my cousin in town, it’s raining (is it really always raining in my dreams, or am I just tricking myself?)
Unlike in real life, cousin is very sweet with me, we hug, she asks me to go buy some comic books for her. Isn’t that nice? Something we can share. I go to a store but can’t find the comics I’m looking for.
I’m looking for a second store and I’m now in a building, an old English manor. It’s night, I’m holding a candle and I need to sneak into the library to get those comics; I’m being really careful not to wake the governess, who happens to be Maggie Smith (am I in the Secret Garden movie?) I go round and round the dark corridors, I’m sure the library must be somewhere around here, but I never find it.
I dream that it’s raining and I’m looking transfixed at a toy store window. On display there is a secondhand Skipper doll, just like the one I had as a child. I walk inside and ask how much she is, the owner says 45 bucks. I buy her. The owner leads me to a basement where he’s keeping a dozens vintage porcelain dolls. I think I recognize some of them, as if they were mine in a past life. I tell the owner about how my father maliciously decapitated my old Skipper (this happened IRL). Moved, he takes a tiny paintbrush to add some details to the new one, make her extra special for me.
Then I dream that my siblings and I are children again and we are moving to a new house. We decide who gets which room, we sell all our plants. We dismantle the old kitchen. Deep down I’m sad to leave the old house and I know I will miss the local stray cats. I’m relieved when I wake up and realize I’m not moving after all.
I dream that I’m waiting and waiting to be allowed back to work (just like I’m waiting IRL). It’s raining, like it often happens in my dreams, and it’s New Year. Ronald Dump, the oaf president, is on TV, chugging a bottle of Champagne. He’s looking down from his balcony wearing a night robe, fat and disgusting. A tall figure appears behind him, Drumpf is too drunk to notice. He’s gonna push him, he’s gonna push him, the whole word prays, eyes glued to the TV.
My alarm rings, I sigh in frustration. I really wanted to watch that murder going down.
Like always I dream about a rainstorm. Like always, I’m late for school. Like always I feel ashamed and guilty.
(Also I dream about Ron Swanson flying a plane)
I dream that I’m trying to save a tiny frog during a rainstorm. My brother accidentally steps on and kills it.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 