As You Can Tell I Really Like Weddings.

I dream that I’m getting married to my high school sweetheart under a tree in bloom. We’re both wearing suits, mine is powder blue. My dad is officiating. I know I’m gonna regret this later but at the moment I’m feeling very apathetic so I might as well go through with it.

After the ceremony I just want to go home, preferably to my own while my husband goes to his home and we never speak about this again. He insists we go see his parents first, and while they’re really surprised and happy about the wedding, I can already tell they’re gonna hate me.

The French Actor

I dream that I’m at the mall with my dad, we just had a fight so now he’s trying to be nice to me, and very motivated to help me pick some bed sheets.

It’s dark and pouring rain outside. We see the police in the parking lot handing out speeding tickets, so we run back inside the mall, getting thoroughly wet in the process.

The stores inside are all in the process of closing. Dad sits at s cafe table, looking miserable. I see two girls pointing at him, whispering and laughing, I go right to confront them, they say,

Don’t you know ge was nominated for an Oscar?

I go back to him and now he’s not my dad at all, he’s a man with a round face, glasses and chestnut hair. I tell him the news, we try to Google his name (I can’t remember it exactly but it was a French name). There’s quite s lot about his acting career, but nothing about an Oscar nom. It was only a cruel joke, abd now the French man looks disappointed.

Snippets! Or Maybe One Long, Disjointed Dream

I’m watching Smallville with my neighbor. He tells me he’s in 7th grade.

My dad goes to the hospital. Nobody can figure out whats wrong with him because they’re so overwhelmed and understaffed.

I find my brother installing Sims mods on my computer. “How the hell did you get my password?!” I demand. “I used Laura’s account” he says. Who the hell is Laura?

I sneak into a building to try and steal a key. An old lady notices me, I pretend I live there and just lost mine. She helps me search until I pretend to give up. I leave and she leaves too, we both walk in the same direction which is embarrassing, so I start running.

I’m playing Papers, Please but now it’s an elaborate Japanese RPG, there’s a king and queen and generals I can romance. I’m trying to operate a cannon and struggling with the controller when I wake up.

A Woman After My Own Heart

I dream that I’m playing D&D with the Critical Role cast. We hear noises and a door slamming open, Matt looks sheepish. He says we gotta stop for today because a friend is coming over.

Maya Rudolph walks in with her assistant, acting like she owns the place. She calls me by my name (I’m honored she knows it) and tells me to keep my cat away because she’s afraid of it. I assure her I never let my cat out of the house.

“Gosh, I wish it was Christmas,” says Maya, “It should be Christmas every weekend.” I absolutely agree with her. She says we should all go on a New York shopping spree, she’ll pay. That’s a magnificent idea, but I need to run home to change first, will they wait for me?

In my bathroom at home I try to put on a pink sweater, but I’m so impatient I tear holes in it. Oh well, this old blue hoodie I’m wearing will have to do. I look in the mirror and see I’ve somehow grown a mullet, but there’s no time to fix that now. I’m putting my jacket on in a hurry, ready to leave, when my dad grabs a pair of scissors and cuts my hair. He’s given me a fairly good pixie cut in under two seconds, but now I’m covered in my own hair and I’m mad at him.

It’s too late, Maya and the others have already left on a plane. Apparently my cousin knows where they went, we track her down in a crowded village, we look up at her balcony and yell her first and last name…

I wake up, for a moment I’m devastated that I’m not actually gonna go shopping in New York.

How Did A 20 Years Old Anime Snuck In There

I dream that my friend C. has found a new, better friend, and I shouldn’t be jealous but I can’t help it.

Then I dream that we all pile up in a car to go pick my dad at the hospital. My mom is driving, it’s too late when I remember she doesn’t have a license.

Finally I dream that I’m walking in a beautiful meadow taking pictures, then I realize I’m in my pajamas, and I’ve left my camera at home too! On my way back I buy a bag of chips, inside I find a plushie of Death Note’s L.

Nope, Put Those Back

I dream that an old lady, possibly a witch, shows up with a small basket of puppies and kittens. They are all extremely tiny and still, they look like beanie babies. The woman explains it will take just a little water to rehydrate them and wake them up.

I pick two puppies at random, but they are missing some limbs and my dad sends them back. He wants a german shepherd, the old lady picks one from the bottom of the basket, but he’s too long and lanky and I don’t like him. Eventually we settle on a white, hairy little pup.

Now that we’re done picking, the old lady adds salad to the basket and is about to eat the rest of them for dinner. I think it’s a bit of a waste and rummage between the leaves until I find the head of a white cat, just the head. And again, it looks like a stuffed teddy so it’s not scary. I’m worried that the cat won’t survive with its head only, but the woman assures me it’s gonna be fine.

I add water, and the cat starts blinking.

(I also dream about microchips in the vaccine that project advertisement in our heads in the middle of the night, and also Henry Cavill as Superman with a hideous white wig.)

Incidentally I’d Love To Buy A Vintage Camera

I dream that I’m downtown, it’s dark and pouring rain. I have my camera and I want to go to the store to buy film, but my dad is there and he’s afraid that we’re gonna miss our boat. I’m wearing just one shoe and no mask, but I follow him anyway. On the way I pick a mask from the ground and put it on, then I realize how disgusting that is and drop it again.

We get to a small pier where the boat, a white steam engine, is waiting for us. Now It’s sunny and the sky is blue. I ask where mom is, dad says forget her, she’s dead. Still I don’t want to leave her behind, so I jump back to the past. I find her sitting on a bench downtown, she gives me a big smile, she must have been waiting so long. Shall we go shopping? I say. I go to the photo store, but we’re in the past now and there’s only early 20th century cameras.

Travel Nostalgia?

I dream that dad wakes up my siblings and I in the middle of the night. It’s Christmas, he says, and we’re gonna travel with our magical house. I look out of the window and everything is perfectly still. It only looks like we’re still, dad explains, because we’re traveling through a different dimension. Mom is asleep, she wakes up just in time as we land on a sunny beach. My cat, who never saw a beach, jumps out the balcony to play in the sand.

In My Dreams I’m Often Convinced That We Moved Out To An Identical Apartment A Few Feet Away

I dream that I’m going to a private school, classes are so much better ant the teacher is fantastic, but I’m afraid I can’t afford it on the long run. The school is on the highest floor of my building while the teacher lives on the first floor; I go visit her, look out of the window at some fireworks, and start crying: I used to live here, I realize, I recognize the view. I tenderly touch the couch and clothesline. When did we move away from this apartment? We live one floor above now.

I go back home and find my dad cheating on mom with cousin V. I’m so mad that I want to push her from the balcony, but I just kick her out of the house. Dad’s only option is to tentatively go back with mom now, I think. I show him the camera I just won from a vending machine but he’s not interested. It’s worth 500 bucks, I say, pleadingly.

I go meet with Gran, hoping she at least will be happy for me. She isn’t wearing a mask, I notice, and neither am I, we’re gonna get in so much trouble. She asks me to go buy something at the pharmacy. I get there and I already forgot what I was supposed to buy, cream maybe? No, coffee, definitely. The shutters at the pharmacy are already closing. I pop my head in ask if they have any coffee. Thy don’t.