I dream that Gran has been convinced by my aunt and uncle to sell them the house; they are selfish, greedy people and they will kick us out for sure. I yell at Gran that I never want to see her again, that she’s dead to me. She’s so old and fragile, bit I don’t feel bad one bit.
Then I dream I attend a survival course where the instructor is an abusive d***head. I’m not a child anymore and I won’t let him treat me like this, I face him and get kicked out of the course.
I dream that I’m taking a shower after work, it’s locate in the large entrance hall of a residential building. I can see a guy, around 30, working in a greenhouse outside. I’m afraid he’s gonna walk in so I shower in my bra. He indeed comes in and he’s angry, demands to know who I am. I sheepishly explain I clean the house of a lady who lives in the building, and she told me I could use the shower. More and more people arrive, they are all outraged because the lady lied and doesn’t live here and I have no right to use their shower. My Gran has to come in to rescue me.
Then I dream that there are fireworks outside so I run to grab my camera. I try to screw in my favorite lens but it’s full of sand, I shake it and more and more sand falls down; I’m distressed, how could this happen, is this a prank? I look down at the camera sensor and it’s so dirty, I try to clean it up and it breaks in a thousand glass pieces. I’m crying and shaking at this point, I feel so sick I wake up and feel the instant relief of knowing my camera is okay.
I dream that my Gran comes over for lunch and she’s wearing a tank top, a mini skirt and high heels. She’s also dyed her gray hair dark brown. She explains that now she’s vaccinated she wants to live life to its fullest! I’m both amused and uncomfortable.
After lunch we sit to watch a Ben Stiller movie. He’s depressed because his girlfriend left him for another woman. He joins a theater group, they’re on stage with a magical gnome that looks like a dog but is a person. The gnome’s face gets grumpier and grumpier, he starts shivering and finally explodes covering the whole stage with poop. Ben Stiller yells,
I have shit on my teeth!
I dream that I’m at my Gran’s; she’s living not in her own home, but at my other grandma’s old place. (Miss you, Grandma G.) She’s been stuck inside for months because of Covid and she’s sad and lonely, I don’t know how to comfort her. We watch a Steven Universe episode, the characters are doing ballet, so I convince Gran to do try dancing too, that will cheer her up! She wears a dark green tutu and starts waving her hands like a swan.
I dream that my sister is teaching Gran about art history with very poor results. Why is everyone is this family so DUMB?! She cries. I’m sitting at their table making Gran tennis shoes from scratch; I use a yellow t-shirt that belonged to my uncle, he’s not happy about it and demands I make another, identical, one. I panic because I only vaguely remember what the t-shirt looked like, there was a face with bags under their eyes. I draw a tired yellow emoji in MS paint and print it on a fresh shirt.
I dream that I’m out and about with my Gran, I can’t remember doing what. She’s having trouble climbing stairs, it takes her a long while to reach the bakery we’re going to eat at. Finally, exhausted, she sits on a table outside the bakery and orders iced tea and a croissant.
I dream about a strange place where everybody is trapped inside a white underground world, also everyone has a clone. I think these people might be very sophisticated androids, as there’s s guy from the outside controlling them all. One android who looks like Gina Rodriguez feels the calling from the green windy hills outside, she wants to escape and the others are ordered to kill her. They accidentally kill her clone instead, and she’s free.
Then I dream I’m staying at my Gran’s and pretending I have a stomachache so I don’t have to eat her food. We go on vacation together, I park my car on the outskirts of town before joining her. Its s beautiful beach town, it looks European but the ocean is tropical; I take a lot of pictures. When it’s time to go I walk back to my car, a boxy little thing, white with blue accents. As I drive back to Gran I remember I don’t have a license, what will I do if a cop stops me?
I dream that I’m going to check a pair of shoes with Gran: my parents bought them and we have some questions for the shop owner. We get there and it’s not a shoe store at all, it’s a charity for used clothes. Did my parents steal from charity? The realization comes too late, they’ve already fled the scene and Gran is arrested in their place.
Then I dream about going to the movies in the evening, but there’s only a horror movie scheduled and I won’t be watching that! I buy some peanuts from a vending machine before leaving; somebody has bought a lot of food and left it in the bottom compartment, it’s still warm. There’s a group of people sitting at a table, eating dinner while they wait for the movie to start. I grab some shrimp and crispy pancakes and join them, blending perfectly in.
I dream that I’m going to a private school, classes are so much better ant the teacher is fantastic, but I’m afraid I can’t afford it on the long run. The school is on the highest floor of my building while the teacher lives on the first floor; I go visit her, look out of the window at some fireworks, and start crying: I used to live here, I realize, I recognize the view. I tenderly touch the couch and clothesline. When did we move away from this apartment? We live one floor above now.
I go back home and find my dad cheating on mom with cousin V. I’m so mad that I want to push her from the balcony, but I just kick her out of the house. Dad’s only option is to tentatively go back with mom now, I think. I show him the camera I just won from a vending machine but he’s not interested. It’s worth 500 bucks, I say, pleadingly.
I go meet with Gran, hoping she at least will be happy for me. She isn’t wearing a mask, I notice, and neither am I, we’re gonna get in so much trouble. She asks me to go buy something at the pharmacy. I get there and I already forgot what I was supposed to buy, cream maybe? No, coffee, definitely. The shutters at the pharmacy are already closing. I pop my head in ask if they have any coffee. Thy don’t.
I dream that I’m walking home from the beach. I stop to take a picture of the mountains on the opposite side, the sun lighting them nicely, when an explosion covers the entire frame: they’re filming a movie and the director tells me to beat it, he’s very rude and unprofessional. Not knowing what to do, I go back to the beach. The sun is setting and I try to take another photo, once again a black cloud covers everything. This time it’s a baby twister running towards me as I’m just about to cross a wooden bridge. I do so gingerly.
I finally get home, where I find out my brother has bought himself a new camera. I’m really upset because every time I want something he buys it instead. I jump on him and start punching his face. Everybody is upset, Gran is crying. I say I don’t care because he hasn’t talked to me in 6 years. He’s bleeding and refusing to look at me.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 