Odd Tricks

Posted on March 12, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m back at school. The teacher is a woman, she looks a bit like a jerk; she asks how everyone’s internships are going, I raise my hand and explain that all internships are on hold until April 4th because of Coronavirus*. The teacher says don’t worry, she’ll find an activity we can all do together in the afternoons. I’m appalled because I was really looking forward to some rest and free time.

All the kids take a service elevator to the basement, it’s just four metal bars connecting a platform to a thin roof and it looks very unsafe. I take the stairs instead. I reach my class and we all sit in front of a clown, who starts entertaining us blowing swirls of smoke inside giant soap bubbles.

*(Photo by Alexandru-Bogdan Ghita on Unsplash*)

The blond kid sitting next to me starts punching my arm. He must be the school bully, but he grows to respect me once he realizes my arms are so strong after working at the store. The clown scolds us for talking instead of paying attention, then he says with a scorned tone that there’s someone in the room who doesn’t believe in his magic. I think he’s talking about me, but instead he points at Sabrina Spellman, who’s sitting behind me. The clown invites her to try his tricks, she blows a giant soap bubble and the smoke inside it is shaped like perfect little skulls.

When it’s my turn, I simply say I don’t smoke and up and go back home. I meet an old woman at the gate, she asks me if I’m new in the building, I say I’ve been living here my entire life. Then she asks if I have any kids, and for who knows what reason I choose to lie and say yes. She asks what their names are, I answer with my and my brother’s names. She says they sound familiar.

I step inside the building and the doors are all wrong. I walked into a maze again and by now I know it’s because I must be dreaming. I’m not gonna find my way home unless I wake up, but how am I gonna do that? I have with me a package just delivered to my brother, I start reading out loud the list of items inside the box, and just like that I wake up in my bed (not really, I’m still asleep, but in the dream I’m convinced I woke up). I decide I must have sleep-walked from the school to my room, and that’s a great trick to have up my sleeve.

*That’s unfortunately true IRL

Pigs and Veggie Bowls

Posted on February 27, 2020February 28, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m at a hair salon inside the mall; my hair is big and bushy, Hermione Granger style, and I desperately need a haircut. The place’s owner is a scrawny guy with an evil smirk, he shaves off a patch of hair in the back of my head, so it looks like I’m going bald, and then kicks me out. I’m desperate because I’ll have to shave everything off now.

I wake up in the morning to find my sister sitting on the living room floor, I’m enraged because she’s supposed to be at her own house, I tell her that she’s not gonna sleep in my room. She locks herself in the bathroom and I start banging on the door because I’m late for school. I don’t know if I went to school at all these past days, I can’t remember. Then I realize that’s because I went to work instead.

I arrive in my classroom and I’m greeting by the usual philosophy teacher, he announces we are going on a school trip. A moment later I’m sitting at lunch in a hotel dining room, so I wonder how I got there if I was at home with my sister in the morning. We are given free food samples, they come in small packages and one of them is pink and says “tuna for cats”.

We are brought bowls of veggie soup, I’m about to dig in mine when another girl opens one of her little packages and pours some truly nasty stuff in my bowl, so now I can’t eat anymore. As I wait for the others to finish I happen to fart; it’s just a little toot, but there’s no hiding it so I say “Sorry” out loud. One of the teachers says,

There are some people that never apologize, and that’s bad. But there are also people who apologize when it’s too late and the room already stinks.

We are shown a video taken from a security cam in the city of Venice, where we were apparently visiting that morning. I see myself on the screen as the chubby teen I used to be in high school, I’m reading a book and some bad guys steal it. I chase them down some tunnels, I cringe watching myself because I run so awkwardly.

Now we are led outside, where we see a beautiful pink sunset against the mountains. I take some pictures of the sky and of some local kids that are doing somersaults. A group of pigs are crossing a little fence, they are also pink and shiny and beautiful. They are led by a girl and her grandfather, who is a white haired detective Columbo. I take pictures of the pigs too and my teacher says I shouldn’t because it’s rude. Columbo says it’s all right, as long as I send him prints.

That Time My Dad Died

Posted on February 19, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m writing a school essay about that time my dad died. It happened on a rainy day, I was very small and it was so hard on me. Luckily, he got better and came back to me.

I go home and casually ask my mother if she remembers that time Dad died. She looks at me funny, says she’s surprised I still believe that old tale. This is how I learn that my biological father was a chubby Indian man, and when he died his best friend wrapped himself in fake bandages, to make me believe he was my dad who had survived a terrible accident.

I’m still not convinced, I can’t accept I have no biological link to half of my family. I ask about Dad’s scars*. Mom explains she gave birth when she was fifteen, to triplets no less, and that’s when he got the scars. I see a flashback: in it my mother is giving birth in a classroom, next to her there are my Indian bio dad and their best friend, AKA my current Dad. For some reason the whole scene looks like a Ghibli movie.

*My father (who is my biological father, I have no idea where this dream came from) burned himself shielding my mother from a pot of boiling oil, and has scars on his arm to this day. My mother was pregnant with me at the time.

Encounters On the Way Home

Posted on February 18, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m with my siblings at a strange woman’s house. She’s maybe a friend of Gran’s, or a relative? I’m reading a shonen manga, a super long series that is never gonna end. We collect flowers from around the apartment for the woman’s dead husband, then we go down a narrow spiral staircase to leave the building. I’m not wearing any socks.

Walking home I come across an old schoolmate, M., who used to be a runner. I haven’t seen her in 15 years but she’s still running with a group of friends. I show her my fitness bracelet and say I’m also exercising, but we both know it’s a lie. We have stopped near a farm, there are cats and mice and a black and white horse behind a fence.

Three high school kids walk past us: they are the classic mean girls, very trendy and with heavy make up. They mock me as they walk by. I yell back that they are ugly, but realize it’s a lame retort: so I grab two of them, obviously the two sidekicks walking one step behind their queen bee, and force them to walk with me for a while instead. I improv a funny story about Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

…and then God said, “What the f**k?!”

They are laughing at my story, and hopefully they will have a better opinion of me now. I let them go.

It’s Autumn, and I have my high school Nokia with me instead of a new smartphone. I try to take pictures and they are surprisingly good quality. Then I realize somebody is following me: it’s a kid, fourteen or so, thin with blond hair and glasses. He’s a stalker in love with me. I take pictures of him following me and yell that I’m gonna call the police. He doesn’t care, follows me all the way back home. I call for my dad to come beat him up.

This is a “My Alarm is About to Go Off” Dream

Posted on February 17, 2020March 27, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m late for school. Did I even go to school at all this past week?! I can’t remember, but I have the awful feeling the answer is no.

I’m running through town, it’s April but I’m wearing a t-shirt that says “Happy Summer!”, decorated with lemons. The sky is heavy and gray, like it’s about to rain. There’s a market in town, I think it’s odd because it’s not a Tuesday. Even though I’m late, I stop at a stand that sells notebooks to take a look; they are all a bit wrinkled, like they’ve been rained upon.

I suddenly realize I’m an adult and not in school anymore, I need to go to the vet clinic instead!* I can’t remember when my shift starts though, I rush back home and ask my dad. He doesn’t remember either. I missed work for the past two days, I can’t miss today too! Maybe if I told them I was at school instead. It’s an easy mistake to make, I’m sure they’ll understand.

No, I realize with even more panic, I don’t work at the clinic anymore, I need to go to the phone store instead!! But I don’t know the way, and it’s so late, and I don’t even have my coworker’s number.

And I wake up, just in time for work.

*My old job.

A Village and a Crime

Posted on February 15, 2020March 28, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m visiting an old English village, the kind with pretty stone cottages. Unfortunately there has been a big fire and the buildings are all black and charred. I’m a BBC journalist and I’m walking around to assess the damage; I see the older villagers gathered under a tent, gossiping about the fire – judging by their clothes I’d say we are in the early 80s, they all look out of a Murder:She Wrote episode.

I walk to the local high school, where the teens are wearing corduroy bell bottoms and colorful vests, and ask to speak from the school intercom. Everyone gasps in delight when I start speaking: I’m a trained journalist, there is no mic feedback and my Ps simply don’t pop, they whisper pleasantly from my mouth.

I announce to the school that the BBC is gonna make a TV series about the village fire, and the revenue money is gonna pay for the reconstruction.

…after all, you have an award winning actress living here!

That’s right, Meryl Streep lives in this village.

Then I dream that my dad has agreed to work with a young man and woman to stop an underage prostitution ring. He’s talking with someone on the phone, another young woman*, he has my elementary school notebook open in front of him and he’s reading from it.

I’m very disappointed in him, I think he should talk to the police instead of believing these two people. And indeed they start acting crazy, the guy takes a saw and cuts his dog almost in half. There is no blood but I still cry in despair. The girl, who is his sister, patches the dog together with a long white gauze, and the poor animal seems as good as new.

*This is a person who IRL was arrested in my town a few days ago for selling out her underage sisters, so there’s an awful rage still fresh in my mind.

Remembering a Romantic Trip

Posted on February 13, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

My penpal C. is visiting again, all my schoolmates are excited because she’s quite popular, apparently? I feel guilty because we used to be so close and now we barely talk anymore.

I find an old journal that describes a trip to Paris C. and I took together ten years ago. It was incredibly romantic, I’d even asked everyone at school to help me confess my love, and that’s why they are all so excited now, they still remember it.

I decide to recapture the magic by accompanying her to the airport, I tell her I’m so sorry she stayed so little. There are other Asian people at the airport, but we suddenly realize they are all robots and she’s the only human. She ‘s worried climbing up the ladder to the plane, she thinks everyone is gonna be racist because of Coronavirus.

It’s late evening and I’m walking down a street in my town. All along the street there are shelves upon shelves from a store that is closing up, a failing business, probably. I want to look through the shelves but I’m afraid it’s not allowed. Eventually I see among the other products a stand with stickers and I rush over: I don’t care if they’re not for sale, I want all the damn stickers!

Space and Cooking

Posted on February 6, 2020February 7, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m traveling on a cruise spaceship. A woman asks me why I’m not wearing a jacket – I think she’s supposed to be my grandmother, but she isn’t really. I tell her I’m not cold. It’s really cold in the ship and I’m clearly lying.

We arrive to a planet, start orbiting around it. An alien robot knocks on our glass door: he looks like something out of Futurama, tall and metallic, with a goatee that make him look like the devil, and four arms. The first thing he does inside our spaceship is turning the AC off, because it’s so cold. He tells me he used to pretend to be human, but has learned to accept himself. Then he goes back home, sits at his pipe organ and plays an evil song, which I think sounds very familiar.

Steven Universe exits the spaceship, and now my sister and I are watching him on TV. The planet’s ground is reddish brown, and the sky is purple. He buries some seeds: we know they are supposed to show his true love. A ghost-like projection of Connie Maheswaran emerges from the ground, and the real Connie looks at it confused. Steven blushes and runs away.

My dad is driving me to school. From the car window I see three people walking near the local park, two old classmates, both short with glasses, followed by Nicole Maines. I tell dad Nicole is a new student at my school.

I need to pass an entrance exam to start the new year: it’s a cooking exam, the teachers/judges are two Asian women. One is very nice, the other is extremely mean and keeps telling us we’re gonna fail.

I prepare two sandwiches, I put eggs, salad, shrimp and tomatoes inside. I find a shrimp oil bottle; it tastes rather strong, but just a few drops should be enough to give my sandwiches the right kick. The mean teacher notices this and tells me I’ve made the wrong choice and already sealed my fate. The girl sitting next to me smiles sympathetically; she is steaming something in a pressure pot and looks very flushed.

I bring my sandwiches to the judges, making sure to put the best looking one on the mean lady’s side. She immediately swaps it and takes the ugly sandwich. As she eats it, I realize with horror I forgot to put eggs in it, and indeed she gleefully tells me how bad it tastes. At least the other teacher seems to really like hers.

Useless Player, Useless Friend

Posted on February 4, 2020February 4, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m part of the Critical Role cast, but during the show all I do is smile and sit in silence. Who did I play again, Beauregard? No, that’s not right. I feel guilty, I’m sure I could never live to my character’s full potential, so I write to Dani Carr that I want to quit. She’s vehemently opposed to it, she points out that I look like I’m having a lot of fun during every game,

and that’s all that matters.

I suddenly remember, I’m not part of the regular cast at all, I just guest starred in a few episodes*! I’m playing a little girl with a brown bush of hair and ice blue eyes, who is really an adult under a curse.

My penpal C. has come to visit once again, I feel guilty because I never exchange the favor. In my defense, I’m afraid of planes! We share a pizza in the park, but I’m afraid it’s not glamorous enough and she’ll get bored of me.

C. now looks like my cousin and speaks my language perfectly, but she’s still herself. I’m supposed to go to school but I also want to do something fun with her; besides, I’m an adult with a job and it’s not like I need school anymore, right?

Dad suggests we could drive to the beach. Sure, it’s getting dark outside, but we could still get an ice cream and take a stroll by the water under the moonlight. I run to get dressed but my shoes are missing once again. I look through the shoe rack and find a pair of Nike Air worn out like mine except they are olive green. I guess they’ll have to do.

*I actually dreamed about guest starring a couple months ago. Dreamception!

Late, Lost and Unkissed

Posted on January 25, 2020January 25, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

Dad and I are watching a movie. It’s very experimental, during the opening credits we see the landscape running away as if it was filmed from a car, from a window here and a tree there certain images or words pop up, conveying a dreamy, hopeful mood. Dad is impressed and asks me if I ever saw anything like it. I say no.

The movie begins properly and we are both taken aback to discover it’s not recent, but a vintage one with Sophia Loren speaking a passable English. The scene is set on my house’s balcony and neither of us question that.

My penpal C. has come to visit, but every time I turn my back or move to another room I forget what she looks like, I keep needing to go check again. Eventually I learn that she has short blonde hair and a bit of a plain face (nothing like IRL C.): she looks like a less attractive Saoirse Ronan, but I’m not that pretty either so I think we’re reasonably well-matched. I want to impress her, so I tell her my family has an acting tradition; why, even Sophia Loren filmed in this house! C. likes acting, I reason, hopefully she’ll want to marry me and take my genes, even though we’re both girls and that’s not how it works.

I’m late for school! As I look for my coat she protests out loud. I need to go to these classes, I explain, or I’ll have to repeat the year come September. Her mom is now in the room with us, sitting in an armchair and talking about boys, oblivious to what’s happening. C. gets really, really close and pins me to a wall, I feel her warm breath as she asks me,

“Remember what we did to that donut last year?”

I whisper yes, she asks if I’d like to do that again. “Yes,” I say trembling,”if you want to.” She’s about to kiss me, when I wake up.

I fall asleep again and dream the same dream. Now I’m running to get to school in time, I have to attend at least 70% of my classes and I’m not about to skip them this afternoon. When I arrive though, I realize with horror I’m not in my usual class with the boring philosophy professor, I went to work instead! Except work is a greenhouse miles from where I’m supposed to be, and what’s worse, I’m not wearing any shoes.

Two friends come to the rescue, they are two young men. I get in their car and one of them borrows me his shoes, because we are the same size, don’t I know? I congratulate myself, I’m so smart for remembering such a crucial detail, my narrative skills are on point even when I’m dreaming. We are showed a flashback where the friend buys me a pair of cool shoes, yellow and blue.

The car crosses a bridge, I notice racists graffiti on the walls. I look at the time, it’s almost six and I only have one hour left to not completely waste my evening. Unless… unless I was actually in a coma, in a tank full of red water and electric eels, and I never left the house. I missed school, I’ll never graduate now.

DECADE DREAM JOURNAL