I dream that I’m sitting for my finals, after having so many nightmares about it. I scribble furiously with a pencil. I answer to every question sarcastically. The answer to a math question is a little drawing. Time’s almost up. I write, go fuck yourselves. I don’t need you and your degrees anymore, I’m an adult.
Tag: school
Watching Gaga’s 911 And Looking For All The Symbolism In My Dreams… Even Though My Mind Is Just Dumb
I dream that there are three Beatles still alive. When they put on a live show they look like slightly older One Directions.
Then I dream that I have to bake a pie for the store, but the one my sister made is much better and I feel defeated. A friend (or maybe a famous chef?) comes over and has me taste his pie. The crust is amazing, but the filling is kinda sour. Maybe the fruit wasn’t ripe? No, he says, mine is just better.
I end up bringing my pie to an elementary school. Kids love it.
That Is What It Means Tho
I dream that I’m coming back home after school, on the stairs I meet two smiling Brazilian women carrying coffee. They give me a cup for free, it’s piping hot and I spill most of it, but it’s sweet and delicious.
At home I tell my mother there are two women opening a coffee shop on the second floor of our building, she’s very suspicious because she’s a coffee snob but I’m excited about living in such a cosmopolitan place where you can go shopping inside your own building, it’s very Hong Kong. I try to go to the coffee shop but end up in a nightclub on the third floor. The music is deafening and nobody is social distancing properly.
I steal a poisonous orange from my sister because I hate her and toss it in the park. I feel immediately bad because I’m afraid a dog will eat it.
And old lady with a handsome, intelligent face brings the orange back. She passes it to me over the fence and now it’s a piece of paper with a bird drawing on it. I put it back in my diary. She admires my art and tells me she likes birds so much she became an ornithologist. I tell her I also like birds very much. She gets angry and says,
That’s not what ornithology means!
I’m so ashamed I wake up.
In Which I Project Anxiety Anytime My Morning Schedule Is Slightly Different
I dream that I need to go to a doctor appointment (I did, this morning) but have to go to school first. There’s the town market on the way, I’m wearing flip flops and lose one, I have to go back looking for it in the crowd.
At this point it’s too late to make it to school, I get distracted on the way by a box full of stickers and washi tape outside a store. I sit on the ground rummaging through it. Various kids join me and also Dark’s Katharina Nielsen, who’s very interested in the cardboard box itself. I go inside to pay for my stickers, it’s a comic book store and the owner is rather nice, I tell him I’ll send over my brother to get some comics. I buy so much stuff, including a pizza. He says everything will cost me 5 bucks. I insist on paying at least 15.
Now I’m late for the doctor too. The only logic solution is to go back in time and start the morning again. I meet Eve and Villanelle from Killig Eve on the way. My doctor was fired (was it my fault??), the blonde substitute says I have cancer.
Why Is My Subconscious So Convinced I Don’t Have A Diploma
Several nested dreams. I ask my brother if he still has some old comics, the first time he says no, the second he says yes.
Then the same recurring dream. It’s raining and I’m late for school. I don’t have my books with me. I have an enormous zit on my face. I’ve skipped too many classes and my finals are looming nearer and nearer. I don’t want to take my finals, who cares about my high school diploma. I’m an adult with a job, for Christ’s sake.
I Love It When I can Remember So Many Details
I dream that I’m watching the new season of The Crown. The episode starts with the Queen visiting her son Andrew, he lives in a dark, dirty castle with his two little girls and wife. For some reason the actress who plays Fergie has giant fake lips.
We cut to Prince Edward, who is a young professor, hot but in a reassuring, glasses and sweaters kind of way. He meets his future wife and I find myself thinking it’s all very Notting Hill. A group of disabled students go to see him complaining that they aren’t allowed to take part in the school recital. Edward makes a phone call and the Queen and Margaret appear, this time as played by Claire Foy and Vanessa Kirby. The Queen winks at the students.
Next we see them all doing aerobics on a stage, wearing black leotards and leg warmers. Claire and Vanessa are really good dancers. Also Benedict Cumberbatch is on stage, it’s a fun scene but I’m wondering, it’s the 80s, what’s he got to do with anything? Shouldn’t it be Michael Jackson instead?
A new episode starts and the Queen, now played by Olivia Colman, comes along with me and my classroom on a school trip. We go up to the mountains, it’s winter and the scenery is a bit dreary. We come across a pretty lake, I want to take pictures but I have to run away when a wild goose starts chasing me.
We stop in a little village, our hotel has a 1 star out of 5 review but the Queen seems perfectly happy in her bedroom. I have some noodle soup and the next morning go back home. At the train station I realize some guys are following me. I hide in a church and text my dad for help. He replies that he’s not gonna get up from the couch and I’ll have to deal with it on my own. I text back,
If they rob and rape me it’s gonna be all your fault!
Even Within Nightmares School Happens
I dream that I find live flies and crickets in my food, and I can’t eat anymore.
Then I dream that I drop my notebook, the one where I wrote down EVERY note for EVERY class of the year, from the stairs at school. I look down and see small children forming a queue in the hall, because apparently we’re sharing with them now. Stupid pandemic.
Then I dream that I’m out in town with my mother when I see a murder of black birds, thousands of them, looking spectral and scary, like they’re not of this world. As I film it they pick up a bird much bigger than them and eat it alive.
I Don’t Wanna
I dream that I’m in my bed, thinking about skipping school today, that’s gonna be fine. Then I remember that I’m an adult with a job. I slowly get up and I still don’t want to go. It’s raining outside.
My aunt, the racist lawyer, and her sister show up. I don’t want to see them, I try to jump off the balcony but that doesn’t work. I hide under my mother’s bed instead. My aunt bends down and finds me. I stab her, and stab and stab and stab. She is still alive, still smiling at me.
In Which Queer Feelings Abound
I dream that I’m at school waiting for a teacher I apparently really love. I look impatiently out the window until I spot her, riding on a bike and carrying an easel. She grins and waves at me. She’s so beautiful and so smart. Later she asks me to translate two words on the blackboard, I know the translation is “Bare Feet”. I’m so flustered I instead write,
I am familiar with my bare feet.
I’m watching an old silent movie about a young woman fighting an evil orphanage headmistress. They climb a building, the visual effects are really good considering the time period. I can clearly sense the homoerotic subtext.
This Shit Again
I dream that my old friend S. sends me a video message, it’s got a weird filter that makes her look like a cartoon dog riding a bike and pulling a cart full of puppies. Very fitting, I think, seeing how many children she has in real life. In the message she asks for my school notes. I have to tell her I decided to quit school and that I have a job now! (HOW MANY FRIGGIN TIMES do I have to feel guilty in my dreams about quitting high school? Seeing as I NEVER QUIT HIGH SCHOOL IRL!)
Then I dream about Kevin McCallister running from the police on a flying hoverboard.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 