So Much Symbolism In This Dream That I’m Trying To Figure Out

Posted on June 30, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that my sister has a baby, a little half black toddler, so fat and happy. I can’t help but fall in love.

Then I dream that I’m in a supermarket with my mother. We go down the escalator to a basement that is ridden with stinky ugly zombies. They crawl around biting men’s penises off (they even catch UK’s Prince Charles!). My mom and I escape.

We follow a long underground tunnel that ends up inside Hogwarts. There is an evil dictator in control of the castle, we join the resistance to fight her and I’m shot, repeatedly, in the thigh. My mom puts me on a boat and we sail away under a thunderstorm, looking for help.

Routine Anxieties

Posted on May 5, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

It’s raining as I walk home from high school. I’m wearing bell bottom jeans and (just like during my actual high school days!) the hems got all wet and muddy. Chatting along with me there’s my old classmate M., a bony girl with freckles and bovine eyes; she can’t believe we are already seniors and our school days are almost over, do I know what I’m gonna do next? Yes, I’m gonna apply to [IRL store I work at] and, I brag, I’ll have to work until 7:30 P.M. She says she’s gonna get off even later and I’m jealous, she’s always been smarter than me!

After lunch I get restless, I’m already late for my old philosophy teacher’s class, why do I always miss it? What if he never lets me graduate?! I go to pee on the balcony (it’s raining and everything is already wet so, I figure, why not?) and run off, but halfway to the school I once again remember that I’m an adult with a job and I don’t have to worry about graduating anymore.

I decide to go shopping with Gran instead. As usual, there’s too many people inside the supermarket and nobody is wearing a mask, I’m really concerned about Gran’s safety, so I drag her outside as it starts drizzling again. She’s carrying a plastic bag with a pink pullover inside, there is no place to store it though, so she hangs it from a branch that’s leafless and skeletal against the gray sky. I’m afraid somebody is gonna steal the bag and when she’s not looking I take it and bring it home, for safekeeping.

When You Hate Your Family But Quite Like Pretty Girls

Posted on May 2, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I hear my siblings whispering, I know they’re plotting something. They bully and gaslight me and my father joins in, so I have no choice but run away from home. I can never come back.

It’s soon lunch time and I’m hungry, I find and open diner and order pizza, I’m asked to sit in a corner because of social distancing measures. The owner rolls her eyes at my pizza and says next time I should order a proper meal; I feel humiliated.

I call my therapist because I badly need some help, the voicemail says I’ll find her at the local park after 6 P.M., sitting in a plexiglass box for, you guessed it, social distancing. But at this point I can’t even remember what I was mad about, and I go back home.

My sister and cousin are forcing me to compete in a quiz show, filming takes place in a basement several floors below a local supermarket. We are brought to a room where a bunch of girls are getting ready, putting their makeup on etc. My sister teases me for never wearing makeup, she says I’m insecure and a coward.

I decide I’m not gonna compete after all, I walk in the middle of the room and announce to everyone that I’m quitting. The producers are saying I simply can’t, I should actually be the first to go on stage, but I take the escalator and leave.

One of the producers is following me up to the ground floor, she is a pretty woman with a black bob, green clothes and triangular eyelashes. She is telling me that I could win a lot of money, don’t I want money to buy… (she looks around in the dark of the abandoned supermarket floor) a Venetian mask? I say I’m not interested.

As I walk home I’m joined by my cousin, who was kicked out of the quiz show in record time. The woman in green is still following us, she says it’s because her car is parked nearby, but she looks sad and worried and I feel guilty because maybe she’s gonna lose her job because of me. I take her by the hand (so soft!) and ask her if she would like to stop somewhere for tea. She looks me in the eyes and smile. She really is beautiful.

Eerie Shopping, Eerie Cooking

Posted on April 10, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m inside a hospital with my mom, the ceilings are too high and the corridors are dark. I need to buy a pair of headphones, we look around for a store and end up in what soon we realize is a well stocked supermarket built entirely inside the hospital. We have a shopping cart now, mom starts picking snacks and coffee, the products are lit with artificial, sterile light and the ceilings are so high you can only see blurry darkness above you. There’s a general feeling of unsettling quietness. We finally come across a pair of headphones, mom says they’re too expensive (they cost a little more than 10 bucks) but I buy them anyway.

We have hired a professional chef to come cook dinner for us, it’s a chubby lady with a 1900s pompadour. My parents order pig stew and she gets to work extremely slowly, and while we wait she shows us a picture of the pig she’s cooking: the animal has a sad look in its expressive eyes, its head is bowed under the foot of a man standing triumphantly above it. I decide I’m not gonna eat the pig, even though the finished product looks juicy and smells really good. I order fried prawns instead and I watch as she tosses them into boiling oil along with big blue raspberries.

I never get to eat any of it, the morning after I try to remember why and I see myself as a young woman cheated on by her husband: to get over my sadness I end up sleeping with a beautiful lady guest who wants to recruit me as a spy. Now I’m so hungry I can’t stop crying, I start tossing things and yelling at my poor sister. I also need to pee so badly.

Pandemic Sure Has Added Another Layer of Anxiety To My Recurring Dreams

Posted on April 4, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m grocery shopping with my cousin, we find an aisle in the supermarket stocked with every kind of face masks: they are expensive, truly outrageously expensive, common surgical masks cost 20 bucks apiece and there’s one single N95 mask, orange, that costs more than 600 bucks. Still, we’ve been looking everywhere and we really need those masks, I want to call my dad and ask what to do but once again I only have an old phone on me. I look for “home” on the contacts list and a stranger answers: he’s using my childhood landline number, I feel weirdly angry and protective.

We go to my cousin’s place and have fried fish and chicken for lunch. Then I go to school and my old philosophy teacher is there, but this time he’s teaching math, even better. He’s graded yesterday’s tests, on mine I only wrote down half of the answers and that half I copied. He’s really angry with me, he asks why, oh why am I so bad at math? I explain it’s because I’m smart, I’m so smart that in primary school I never learned how to study, everything was so easy. And now that math is difficult I cannot study to save my life. He says he doesn’t believe me.

I go back home and around the dinner table I explain the situation. I say I cannot even be bothered to learn my classes’ schedule. My mother is very worried, she says I’ll need to do something if I want to pass my finals. I say that hopefully this pandemic will be over soon, I’ll be back to work and won’t have to go to school ever again. Who cares about my finals anyway? Everyone is shocked and angry at me.*

My sister who’s also at the table sends me to fetch her boyfriend’s dog. I walk to town and start looking at every person walking with a dog, hoping to recognize her. I eventually find her, she doesn’t look at all like his real life dog but she’s limping just like her. She’s pooped all over herself and has to be rushed home to get washed, as we wait my sister and I walk into a stationary store. I hope to find stickers but only find pretty notebooks.

*I want to point out once again that I’m an adult, I’ve been out of school for 15 years and I definitely passed my finals back then. WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING ABOUT THIS.

In Which I Have Pandemia Anxiety and I’m Especially Worried About My Grandmother

Posted on March 22, 2020March 27, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

Gran is in town, despite the quarantine, despite all. I’m following her, trying to make her see reason. My store is closed, but she finds a loose panel in the front window and sneaks in, while I beg her to come back. She says it’s alright, nobody is in here anyway. I see my boss’ coat on a chair and light coming from under her office’s door, realize we’re about to be discovered and drag Gran away.

Next she wants to go to the bank to get all her money back. She walks on the cold stone floor and sits on a bench, and I order her to at least put her mask on. She gets from her bag a diving mask that she patched up with some fabric, and I’m about to lose my mind with anger and worry.

I’m watching an old VHS tape, it’s a show that has Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles and Japanese boyband Arashi in it. My family is annoyed, they say the show is boring, and since I know the Queen is about to get into some lesbian shenanigans I take the tape out of the player and say we should go grocery shopping instead. But it’s late and we’re quarantined and the supermarket is closed, everything is closed and we’re about to starve.

Severed Sex

Posted on February 7, 2020February 7, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

While channel surfing my family and I notice a church with a bell tower very similar to our city’s clock tower, tall and covered in reddish-brown bricks. I do some research and find out both towers were built by the same architect. The only difference are the colorful statues on the other city’s tower: they paid to have them painted, while ours are just simple brass.

Along with my siblings, I climb up a mountain road to see the tower from above. My boss is also there. From that far up we can even see the supermarket one city over, I’m confused because I’d never noticed it before. It was built recently, mi siblings explain.

I follow my boss to her villa, where I’m supposed to do some computer work for her. I point out that I’m gonna need two monitors, she reminds me she bought me a tablet and I can use. While we talk I try to subtly hint about my birthday coming soon, because I’m hoping she’ll get me a present. She’s a generous lady!

A young man bursts inside the house on a red fire truck. Boss Lady is appalled, so I assure her I’m gonna deal with it. I point out to the man that his father was here earlier today (also on a fire truck) to hook up with Boss Lady but had to come home empty handed. The man won’t listen to reason. He gets down the truck, leaves his penis neatly wrapped on a coffee table and goes to the living room to watch TV, saying he won’t leave until he’s satisfied.

Boss Lady’s secretary steps up, a thin blond man who looks almost ill. He says he’ll sacrifice himself for the good of the Company. An awkward hand job with the detached penis later, fire truck man emerges from the door with a big smile, declares himself satisfied, and leaves.

A Gaggle of Supermarkets

Posted on January 30, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

This is a recurring dream: IRL there are only three supermarkets in my town, all from the same big chain, and it drives me crazy because there’s no variety in the food and prices.

In tonight’s dream there are even more, infuriatingly identical, stores, all in the same neighborhood and at a walking distance from each other. To add insult to injury, I work inside one of the stores along with my cousin G. She tells me it doesn’t matter which store I choose to work in each morning, nobody seems to care as long as I wear my red employee jacket.

Mom needs a new phone, it’s time to scout each of these stores to find the perfect one. I team up with my cousin and sister: our first location is the supermarket where I supposedly work every day, it’s small, crowded, messy and smells rather bad. The second supermarket is larger, cleaner, airy, it has barely any people in it. Feels like paradise and I’m jealous.

We visit all the stores but come up empty handed; there is no trace of Mom’s perfect phone. Dejected, we stop to buy some consolatory ice cream. Inside the parlor we meet an employee from the big, clean supermarket, she’s wearing an aqua uniform and works at the bread counter. She looks plump, healthy and relaxed, she tells us she’s on an ice cream break because nobody ever visits her store. I’me even more jealous.

Mom decides we’re gonna buy the phone out of town. Dad is pouting on the couch with his comfiest hoodie on, he categorically refuses to drive us anywhere. I’m outraged. I tell him with tears in my eyes that it’s Sunday, and Sunday is my only chance in the whole long week to go for a little trip. He finally agrees. My parents go to the car, I want to follow but I’m not wearing any shoes. The one pair I can find is too small, I try frantically to put them on, give up and run down the stairs with my heels pocking out from the shoes.

DECADE DREAM JOURNAL