I dream that I’m running late for school, I get quickly dressed in an oversize pink t-shirt and jeans. My mom is waiting for me in the car, she’s driving. Wait, I say, I think I got my period. I rush back inside and to the bathroom. My jeans are a mess. As I’m stripping down my cat jumps on the toilet and starts peeing, a focused, almost painful expression on her face. It’s too late to get to school by now. My parents ask me why I didn’t go, I change the subject and tell them everything about the cat instead.
Now I’m in bed with Corona. I feel fine, I don’t have any symptoms, but my test came back positive and and now I have an app that counts down the days until I die. I’m terrified, I don’t want to die, but all I can do is lie in bed and wait. Six days pass, nothing happens. Maybe there was a mistake? Hopeful, I venture out of bed. My legs feel weak, out of practice. I peek into the living room, ask my family if I could maybe go back to the hospital and be tested again? They tell me to go back to bed and wait to die in silence.
I dream that I’m lured on a ship with a group of friends with the promise of ice cream. The ship is rather big and looks like it’s made of metal containers welded together. It can travel on road and also jump over hills, which we do.
My friends tell me they need to hide, so I suggest my uncle’s mountain house. We’re already nearby so we get off the ship and start to climb, arrive in the middle of the night. I say everybody be quiet because he’s sleeping. We hear the sound of a toilet flushing and my uncle appears on the door, he says we woke him up anyway and let us in. My friends are hungry so he says they can eat anything from his vegetable garden.
At this point I see my friends as if through an anime opening, and I realize we are indeed in a cartoon episode. I read online that fans are debating about the setting and I’m fuming because, of course it’s set in my town! Didn’t they see the buildings, the architecture? I go back and rewatch the flight of the container ship, yes, see there, how it jumps over a castle? That is my town’s castle, no doubt.
I’m looking forward to share my knowledge to the rest of the interenet, when my alarm rings, leaving me disappointed.
I dream that I’m going shopping, but first I need to pee. The bathrooms are located underground, I take an escalator and find myself in a long queue of girls. Maybe I can convince them to let me go first? I say out loud,
I REALLY FUCKING NEED TO PEE!
Another girl has said the exact same thing at the exact same time. We look at each other. Maybe we can share the toilet? One cheek each?
It’s our turn. The bathroom we step in is dark, gritty and enormous, with impossibly high ceilings, almost as if it was built from an underground cave. There are at least two toilets in the vast space, sitting high above the ground. A lot of people are watching, but I can’t afford to care. I need to go. I climb to the toilet and sit and… no pee comes out. How is it possible?
I have to wake up and run to the toilet for real.
I’m in a car with my whole family. My dad is driving, but he’s not paying the road any attention. Instead he’s reading something. I realize with horror it’s one of my old journals! Actually, all of my journals are here.
Furious at this invasion of my privacy, I grab them and get off the car. I end up in an old building, it’s dark and my old elementary teacher is there, wearing a black veil and smiling a wicked smile. She’s as ghastly as I remembered, I hate her so much I start to choke her. She seems to enjoy it. I have sex with her, it seems like the logic thing to do.
I dream that I’m interning at a tobacco store but nobody seems to pay attention to me. The next day is a holiday, I’m at the beach wearing a bikini, with my feet in the water. My parents come pick me up, there are four starving kids on the beach and my mom buys them ice cream pops. I go home and up some stairs, hiding inside an incredibly tiny outdoor toilet. I place an old TV (the kind with antennas and a big butt) on the toilet seat, sit on the floor in front of it and proceed to watch Glee as I eat my lunch.
There’s a young woman walking on a frozen river. She is holding a wrapped box, inside there is a chocolate heart. A group of guys have ruined the heart, walked over it and left a big footprint. Now they’re sitting in their car, which is also on the frozen river, and mocking her.
The woman smiles at them, open the box and eats a piece of the chocolate heart with the footprint on it. She offers them a bite too, and there’s an evil glint in her eyes. They look scared now.
A customer at the store has refused to pay me 15 bucks. I go to her house, sit in her living room, drink a tea with her and explain that she’s stealing those money from my paycheck. She’s very sorry about it, she doesn’t have any money but offers me a tube of toothpaste and a big honey jar instead. Later that night, my boss sees the honey on her desk and is very impressed: it’s apparently super expensive.
I’m at home but it’s not my IRL home, the tiles in the bathroom are dark and the toilet is bright yellow, with a big splash of water coming from the side and landing gracefully inside the hole.
I leave for work, drive for a bit but then remember I don’t have a license and switch to a bicycle. Once arrived, my cousin invites me to come along for a trip with her friends. I accept, but not very enthusiastically.
We visit a city in Tuscany where it’s pouring rain, I have a big umbrella with me but it’s broken. We go to the train station in the evening, but we’ve already ran out of money and all the trains have been cancelled. We have to wait for someone to collect us, and eventually end up in front of a police captain: she’s sitting behind her desk sipping a glass of red wine, has Jessica Fletcher hair and a really rude attitude.
One of the girls in the group asks me if I slept at all, because we (platonically) shared a bed and she says I elbowed her all night. I say I definitely slept, and to prove it I tell her what I dreamed about:
Rebel Wilson gave me some toothpaste and a jar of honey.
I decide to go back home, because I don’t want to miss any more work. And just like that I’m sitting on my parents’ living room floor; they haven’t noticed me yet.
My uncle D. rings the doorbell, I open the door and see him in the hallway, standing next to a short man with glasses. He’s our trip organizer, I’m furious with him because we finished all the money on our first day! He promises his math was sound, takes out a beautiful artbook and start scribbling numbers on the illustrated pages with two brush pens, one black and one white, but he’s pressing too hard and ruining the nips. I get even angrier because he’s spending money on expensive stationary without even knowing how to use it.
Note: the man I’m gonna write about today is a rather famous person who I admire very much. I’d hate for him to accidentally find this dream where some terrible stuff happens to his actual family, I was even tempted to not record it at all. In the end I decided to leave his name out, just in case.
I’m watching a live stream. In it a man is driving a car and at the same time recording a vlog with his wife and children. A terrible accident happens, an explosion. We see the younger child, no more than a toddler, buried by rock and debris, his face burnt and bloody. The older brother is also badly burned. The father looks into the phone camera he’s recording with, his face covered in soot and deadly scared, and tells the audience he’s gonna run for help.
The day goes by slowly, I keep thinking about the accident, wondering what happened, checking Twitter for updates. Finally the man tweets something. A Christian prayer, and then a picture of his younger son with a heartbreaking epitaph. I’m not surprised, the child was badly hurt. But where is the brother?
The live stream starts again, we are showed the other child. His black t-shirt and jeans are burned, it’s night and he’s walking alone into a drive-in restaurant. Inside, standing under neon lights on the shiny floor tiles, there’s no other than Emperor Palpatine. He tries to turn the child to the dark side, but gets stabbed in return: the boy killed him!
People on the Internet rejoice at seeing the boy alive and well, but I’m growing suspicious. The car accident, the fight with Palpatine, it all looked kind of… staged, produced even. Was it all a lie? An excuse for this boy get away with murder? Did the father even got as far as sacrificing his own younger child to get the older one to succeed? I feel shaken.
Another quick dream, because I slept in this Sunday morning.
I notice at the supermarket colorful cardboard boxes on a shelf. I look closer and see pictured on the boxes a set of vintage 90s mugs, just like the ones I used to have breakfast in as a kid! I buy three, one with Chip ‘n Dale, one with Mickey and Donald, and one with Tony the Tiger.
I run home all excited, I want to show them to my sister. She’s sitting on the toilet but doesn’t seem to mind. We open a box and we are immediately overwhelmed by the smell of artificial chocolate, it’s really bad. There are no functional mugs inside, just three plastic replicas with Styrofoam cereal in it. They are cute and colorful, but quite useless.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 