I Wanted To Find A Picture For This But It’s All Too Specific For Stock Photos

I dream that I’m visiting my dear penpal C. We share a bed and hug the whole night. By day two I’m already homesick, I keep thinking about a Salvador Dali’s quote that goes,

If I took a plane right now, I will be in Italy in a day and by evening I will see the sweet hills of Spain again.

C.’s family is very nosy and doesn’t believe in personal space, I can’t even change my clothes in peace. On the third morning, her aunt makes me baby formula sprinkled with pancakes for breakfast. “It’s such a pity you’re not good looking” she says. I know she’s right, still, I feel bad. I would have hoped to marry C. some day.


I dream that Ronald Dump, like a regular Blue Beard, is sucking the life essence from his wives and turning them into zombies. He has turned two so far; a young detective is looking for the third wife, he’s a short guy and both him and his work partner are skilled martial artists.

They manage to kill the first zombie, but then the detective’s fiancée is turned. She’s haunting the villa where they were going to get married, the detective and his partner drive up a mountain road and finally spot the villa behind a closed gate, it’s a low building with green roofs.

The zombie has gone crazy and is furious to see the detective; but before she can attack the man and his partner grab mace and chains and start hitting the wooden floor. It’s some sort of spell, the zombie can’t help but grab a mace of her own and mirror their movements. Her rage turns into a giant black beast, a mix between a dog and a lion. The beast attacks, the detective and his partner keep it at bay shooting fire from their hands. The beast is eventually defeated, but the zombie is still angry. “You’re only here to find the third wife!” she yells. “No,” the man says, “I’m here to find you.” That’s all it takes for her to turn human again.

Family Trip

I’m at gran’s house, my siblings and my neighbor S. are with me. I’m playing the Sims and really getting into the game, but alas I need to turn off the computer and go home. We all climb into the car, I have some trouble closing the door.

We stop at an old beautiful building, something like a renaissance villa. There’s a comic book exhibit inside, we all take some time to visit it and at the end I ask my sister,

Does every artist really have to illustrate King James Bible at some point?

She says yes.

We arrive in town, outside the park there is a policewoman asking for everyone’s permission slips. She’s angry at us for being all out together, and she’s right, I think, that’s quite odd during a lockdown, what were we thinking? She finally allows us to go home, and as I start walking I notice that both my siblings and neighbor S. are turning into children, like we used to be when we played all together in this very park. My brother grins at me and jumps up and down. His hair is blond just like back then, and everything is beautiful.

Soup and Wine

I’m building a pyramid of merch to put in front of the store (like I’m supposed to IRL tomorrow morning), except it’s not phones, it’s jars of chicken broth, each one in its brown paper box. One of the jars is empty, I fill it with cheap soup from a can and run around the store looking for the box. My boss is rather annoyed about it all, she takes me to the side and reveals that she’s pregnant with twins, so she’s going home.

Now there’s a bunch of children in the store and we are supposed to learn how to take care of them. We watch “Mary Poppins and the False Gospel“, a modified version of the beloved movie set during Hanukkah. Even in the dream I surprised this thing exists.

My middle school teacher, sweet Mrs R, arrives to continue the lessons. She draws and ink a really good picture of a man riding a motorcycle, and my dad starts coloring it with brown watercolors. I’m jealous because they are both such good artists.

On my way home I kill the mayor of a small town and take his ruby ring. By killing him I gained the right to own his big old mansion, I find a nice bottle of red wine hidden inside it. I go home and find my late grandpa P. sitting at the living room table. He loves wine so I give him the bottle and he’s rather happy.

Severed Sex

While channel surfing my family and I notice a church with a bell tower very similar to our city’s clock tower, tall and covered in reddish-brown bricks. I do some research and find out both towers were built by the same architect. The only difference are the colorful statues on the other city’s tower: they paid to have them painted, while ours are just simple brass.

Along with my siblings, I climb up a mountain road to see the tower from above. My boss is also there. From that far up we can even see the supermarket one city over, I’m confused because I’d never noticed it before. It was built recently, mi siblings explain.

I follow my boss to her villa, where I’m supposed to do some computer work for her. I point out that I’m gonna need two monitors, she reminds me she bought me a tablet and I can use. While we talk I try to subtly hint about my birthday coming soon, because I’m hoping she’ll get me a present. She’s a generous lady!

A young man bursts inside the house on a red fire truck. Boss Lady is appalled, so I assure her I’m gonna deal with it. I point out to the man that his father was here earlier today (also on a fire truck) to hook up with Boss Lady but had to come home empty handed. The man won’t listen to reason. He gets down the truck, leaves his penis neatly wrapped on a coffee table and goes to the living room to watch TV, saying he won’t leave until he’s satisfied.

Boss Lady’s secretary steps up, a thin blond man who looks almost ill. He says he’ll sacrifice himself for the good of the Company. An awkward hand job with the detached penis later, fire truck man emerges from the door with a big smile, declares himself satisfied, and leaves.

Some Travels

My Gran needs to buy cream but we need to walk quite a long way to find some. I try to leave my heavy bags behind on the grass, but I can’t bring myself to it. Instead, we hire a boy to carry the bags for us, he’s struggling with them but doesn’t complain. We arrive at a big villa full of cheerful, mostly middle-aged people, they are all creatives gathering there to commune and write. The boy reveals he’s also writing a novel and sits down at a table to work with us.

Then I dream that I have to wake up (true, it was seven in the morning!) but there’s also a Doctor Who special on TV I really can’t miss. The new Master turns into Missy for a moment, it’s really blink-and-miss, I want to rewind but can’t because it’s on stupid TV and not Netflix. The Doctor travels back to a time slightly after the Mary Poppins movie. Dick Van Dyke is there as an older version of Bert, I wonder how much they paid him for the cameo. Jane and Michael are older too, they’re walking down the street. Michael looks like a preteen now, but has a full beard, red and curly. How did they even achieve that, CGI? The special ends and I get frustrated because it either was twelve minutes long or I only caught the end of it.