I dream that I need to take a bath so I fill the living room with warm water. Eventually my dad opens the door, all the water flows away and I find myself on the cold floor. My cousin arrives, she’s mad at me because she’s a witch and I won’t join her at her fancy European magic school. (Not Hogwarts, she points out. Everyone’s a racist fraud at Hogwarts.) She teaches me how to turn things into gold dust.
Tag: water
Landlords Are Generally Evil
I’m looked in the bathroom and I have a toddler and a baby with me, they’re brothers. The older one is two and his name is William, he has pooped on his brother’s face and his diaper has flown out the window, so I’m scrambling to get them both cleaned. I end up having to call my mother for help, she’s very surprised at how I seem to have acquired two children. We carry them to my bedroom and there are two birds trapped inside, flapping around madly, a pigeon and a seagull.
I need a bottle of frozen water, there is a vending machine on the street outside my house but it isn’t working. I go look for a freezer in my basement but I get lost, my cat is with me and we run when we see the landlord is chasing us. I hide in an apartment that looks like it’s been the set of a psychological thriller. Then I finally reach home and run inside my room, I put headphones on and hit play on a discman just as the landlord walks in. I’m now a teen boy with curly hair, the landlord takes me under his wing and becomes the father figure I never had.
There’s a tweet trending, it’s an old Russian farmer complaining about her land owner. She films a video where the land owner is seen on a tractor destroying her fields and cackling like a villain. I’m very confused because the video is stop motion and obviously fake, but nobody else on Twitter seems to notice.
Murderers on a Boat
My cousin and I are on the run because we killed someone in Venice, and I can still feel the blood spraying from his throat. We desperately need to rest and get rid of evidence, so we choose a random, empty-looking house, we shower and change and are about to leave when a woman appears on the door. She’s around sixty, has short hair and glasses, looks like Phyllis Smith. We’re petrified for a moment, thinking we got caught, but luckily the woman is short sighted and mistakes us for her own nieces! She sees we showered and that we are carrying black garbage bags (to get rid of evidence!) and, bless her soul, just assumes we must have had our periods. She tells us to not worry because “it’s perfectly normal” and that we can use her house whenever we need. “See,” says my cousin as we leave. “Peace of cake.”
My siblings are now tagging along because they’re also murderers. We have found the perfect hiding spot: we’re sailing along the good guys’ ship, so massive they’ll never notice the small boat hiding literally under their noses. Or at least, we think we’re safe, but a government agent storms into the boat and easily defeats all of us! We think we are doomed, but to our surprise he offers us to become state-sanctioned assassins. We quickly take the offer.
Half-drowned
I look down from the living room window, the tarmac outside is wet and muddy, looks like a scene after a big flood. There are dozens of little creatures on the ground; some look dead, some fish are floundering wildly, out of oxygen. As I watch it starts raining, and one by one the little animals wake up and scutter away, including the ones I thought were dead, alongside the fish I see turtles, frogs, even an axolotl with its big smile. The last thing I see is a cat running away with a little mouse on its back.
Of Monsters and Relatives
My first dream of 2020 is a recurring one. I meet my least favorite relatives, Aunt T. and her husband, Uncle F.: they’re bigoted, obnoxious, judgy and loud, they scare me so much I get out of my way to avoid them. In my dreams, though, I always snap like a wounded animal, covering them with vicious insults, spelling out just how much I despise them. I never have the guts to do that IRL.
The second dream is about a Disney-themed water park. Every attraction is rather original, the one I remember best is set in the The Little Mermaid kitchen where Sebastian got almost cooked. The pool is literally just a giant kitchen sink full of dish soap.
As I go through the rides I realize my main objective is to slain a monster, a giant sea monster that lives in a cave. There’s a woman with me, she’s a harsh-faced lady with long black hair. Now I cannot tell who she was supposed to be, I just remember her unpleasant personality, a bit like my mother’s.
We have obtained a powerful weapon: it’s an animal’s giant nail, yellow, big and round like a satellite dish. It’s clear to me that we have to sneak inside the cave and take the monster by surprise. He’s not gonna see us coming until it’s too late, just like Saurun when the Hobbits reached Mount Doom. I order the woman to not touch the nail we’re carrying, because if she touches it the monster will know we’re here. The woman thinks she knows better (just like my mother) and scratches on the nail. The monster comes for us.
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 