I dream that I’m in my bed, thinking about skipping school today, that’s gonna be fine. Then I remember that I’m an adult with a job. I slowly get up and I still don’t want to go. It’s raining outside.
My aunt, the racist lawyer, and her sister show up. I don’t want to see them, I try to jump off the balcony but that doesn’t work. I hide under my mother’s bed instead. My aunt bends down and finds me. I stab her, and stab and stab and stab. She is still alive, still smiling at me.
I dream that my old friend S. sends me a video message, it’s got a weird filter that makes her look like a cartoon dog riding a bike and pulling a cart full of puppies. Very fitting, I think, seeing how many children she has in real life. In the message she asks for my school notes. I have to tell her I decided to quit school and that I have a job now! (HOW MANY FRIGGIN TIMES do I have to feel guilty in my dreams about quitting high school? Seeing as I NEVER QUIT HIGH SCHOOL IRL!)
Then I dream about Kevin McCallister running from the police on a flying hoverboard.
I dream that the store I work at is now a hospital. Today new recruits, junior doctors and nurses, are arriving, I meet one of them and offer to show her around. She’s a young woman with her son, I show the boy the giant slides on the roof of the hospital, doesn’t he want to play? He says he’d rather stick with his mom.
The hospital is once again a giant maze. After running in circles for a bit I decide to use a secret ladder. It’s a trick I always use in my dreams, I explain to the woman and the boy, maybe it’ll work now even though this totally isn’t a dream, absolutely not, we’re all wide awake.
Finally we reach a classroom, we’re super late so I end up sitting in a student’s desk instead of the teacher’s desk with the other senior employees. My cousin wants to know why I haven’t sent my notes to the other students yet. I rush home and start googling them because of course I misplaced mine. They all seem to be about philosophy and religion. My coworker S. calls me frantically because I’m still not back to the store and he needs help. Meanwhile all the other students are trying to solve a murder.
I dream that I’m trying to shower in a room full of people, I’m begging them to please, please leave or at least look the other way so I can take off my clothes. One of the people is my coworker S., he’s upset about my work performance, I guess.
Then I dream that my favorite TV couple are back together. I’m so happy, and yet even in my subconscious I know it’s too good to be true, I scroll down twitter to find any news about it. There is none.
I dream that I’m at work and I’m told I’ll have to take a quiz on Monday to proven how much I’ve learned and my worth as an employee. I legit think, “This is gonna give me nightmares”.
I go back home in a bad mood. It’s raining, as usual, and yet there’s a farmer market along the street. I can’t find my building’s entrance (“Just like in my nightmares”, I think), I can’t see her but my mother is mocking me from the balcony, calling me stupid.
I dream that I take a train to go to work (IRL I just walk there). It’s the wrong train and I’m left in the middle of nowhere. I have to trek back through the countryside in the middle of the night.
I dream that I go to work one morning and outside the store there are hundreds and hundreds of people. What’s going on?! I ask someone. TV says we’re about to go on lockdown again, they explain, and everybody got here while they still can.
I walk inside and there are more people amassed behind the counter. Even the back office isn’t safe, I sit at the computer trying to ignore the countless eyes watching me, waiting to ask me questions, impatient because I’m filing old documents instead of helping customers. When they start taking out and reading the office’s binders I have to yell. That is private information!
I see my coworkers turning the lights off and putting they jackets back on. I follow their lead and run outside just as the shutters come down. Even bigger a crowd has gathered outside, there are journalists with their cameras and politicians giving interviews, blaming the government for this mess. I run away.
I dream that I’m having a fight with my sister because, as usual, I don’t want to share a room. I grab her sheets and throw them out.
Then I dream that I’m late for work. Then, that I’m singing to some cowboys. Then I’m in a Dragon Ball episode. Then, it’s November and there are no Christmas ads on TV because of Corona. It’s rather sad.
I dream that I’m working at the store even though it looks nothing like my IRL store. A group of three old schoolmates walk in, two women and a man. They are also famous people, I think their leader is Amber Riley? The other girl could be Vera Lovell.
I greet them with a smile, tell them I’m such a big fan. They are mad at me though, they demand money. I signed a contract, don’t I remember? I pledged to donate money every year to their theater company. I object that they haven’t put out a show in ages, they say it doesn’t matter. How will they feed their children if I don’t donate?
I whip out my bank account app, show them I only have 91 bucks to my name. Then, when they’re not looking, I rip out my signature from the contract. I hope that’s legal.
I dream that I’m in a classroom where the desks are arranged in a circle, because it’s safer against Covid. The teacher calls my name, he asks me a medicine question, I cheerfully inform him that I didn’t study shit and he can go ahead and fail me. My old friend M. looks at me, half impressed and half outraged. She asks what the hell was I thinking, I explain that I am an adult with a job now, and who cares about grades when you can get a paycheck instead?
(This dream left me feeling so vindicated.)
DECADE DREAM JOURNAL 