Hey This Seems Like a Nice Dr− Nevermind It Was Anxiety All Along

Posted on June 17, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that I’m being visited by a young doctor, blonde, his face reminds me of a nazi soldier. I have a bruise in the crook of my arm (I just had a blood test IRL), the doctor asks me to show him, then he grabs my arm and squeezes and squeezes, the bruises grow and grow.

Then I dream that some guy is bullying me online, he wants to meet and I’m a no-show. An unknown number calls my phone, I almost don’t answer but curiosity win. It’s a girl who went on the date in my place, just in the spirit of trolling. She needs help now to take a train home because, she explains on the phone, she’s blind and not familiar with the area. Suddenly I’m on the train with her and I’m very happy to help. Too late I realize with a panic that the train is getting me further and further from home and there’s no stop until several cities over.

And yet another dream: my country has made a massive business deal with China, countless celebrities are flying over to show their support. My class goes on a trip to China too, I’m very jetlagged but nonetheless happy to go shopping. As usual all I’m looking for is some new stationary, but soon I have to start running through the local shopping center because a murder is after me.

I Keep Dreaming About Beating Up People For Some Reason

Posted on June 16, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m once again back to school. I want to sit in the back of the classroom, next to the window, so I can doodle without the teacher noticing, but I end up sandwiched between two kids instead.

I find a yellow envelope on my desk, inside there’s a love letter from that boy I used to like. Everybody is laughing and teasing me, I pretend I don’t care about the letter and throw it out the window. Then, for good measure, beat up the kid who laughed the hardest.

The teacher walks in, notices the boy with the face all bruised and asks who did it. I raise my hand, ready to face my punishment, but all the other kids raise theirs too. We got each other’s back, they’re gonna protect me, I realize with a rush.

The teacher calls me to his desk, it’s an oral interrogation. As usual I didn’t study and didn’t even bring the textbook in my backpack, I look at him sarcastically and say,

What did you expect? Did you ever see me in this class before?

The teacher is mad now, he calls a man to drag me out of the room. It’s a shining gold man with winged feet, obviously a deity. He grabs me but I throw him to the floor like he weighs nothing. “Who are you?!” the teacher asks, incredulous.

I am the daughter of Zeus,

I say, and indeed now I look like a tall, beefy, blonde girl.

My Town Ain’t This Lively

Posted on June 3, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that I’m walking with my brother, on my foot I’m wearing a single flip flop. We arrive in front of the local church. A group of teens are selling a tube of washi tape, I ask how much, they say 50 bucks. I grab a kid by the collar and threaten him, he say he’ll sell it for 30. It’s still too much, and I shove him away. I enjoy being bigger and scarier than him.

We walk in town, my brother stops at a cafe with pale blue interiors. I wait for him outside and observe my surroundings: there is a store selling Christmas trees and I think it’s ludicrous in June. A few feet away a man is inviting customers to “China Town”, I see a crowd of people laughing and yelling and eating duck. My Gran is among them. I cringe because none of us is wearing a mask, then I remember that I always wear masks in real life so this might be a dream. I can’t be sure though, it all looks so realistic.

Trip to IKEA!

Posted on June 2, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I dream that my Gran lives in a pretty little town. I go visit her. There is an IKEA nearby and a bus that can take us directly there so we plan our trip, but as we go I realize I forgot my purse and face mask, I have to run back to the house.

I collect my things and go back again. The town is beautiful, there are churches and a big white monument, I wish I could take pictures but the phone in my pocket is my old 2000s Nokia. I find Gran sitting at the bus stop chatting with some ladies. They send me to a nearby pizza takeout to buy our bus tickets, the owners speak German for some reason (maybe I am in Germany??) but they understand my English. They want to be paid in Marks, I’m confused because I only have Euros with me.

(I should add that while all this happened I was somewhat aware I was dreaming, I kept waking up and stubbornly going back to sleep because I really wanted to go to IKEA. I couldn’t tell you if it was a dream in a dream situation or I was legit waking up for a second or two.)

We finally reach IKEA and it’s nothing like the real thing, more like a bazar. There’s only one type of item I’m looking forward to: stationary! I spend ten minutes agonizing over washi tapes, much to the other costumers’ annoyance. I finally select one with fish illustrations. I’m moving on to stickers, when a woman stops me and ask for help picking a fountain pen. I’m wearing a red polo shirt and she must have mistaken me for an employee, she’s so disappointed when I tell her I’m not she violently wakes me up.

I’m Tired and… Bored?

Posted on June 1, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

(Having recorded my dreams for a few months now, I find myself thinking about the recurring scenarios I find myself in night in, night out; they are so mundane, so boring, so familiar by now.)

I’m out in town, it’s raining once again (even though it very rarely rains in real life), and again I forgot to wear my mask (I NEVER forget to wear my mask IRL). A cop stops me and I say I’m running back home to fetch it. He takes one from his chest pocket, it looks like a menstrual pad with strings.

I go back home and my sister is there and I don’t want her there and we argue. The same dream again and again and again.

Missing Man

Posted on May 31, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m at school and it’s raining, I have a borrowed umbrella. My old crush, L., is fighting over me with another boy, the rest of the kids hate me because I’m always skipping class.

There is a man missing, an old friend of my dad. I set out with L. to go look for him, we eventually learn he was kidnapped and held in a stationary store’s basement. The store owners chase us, I run to the rooftops and find a knife; I use the knife to stab them and drive them away.

I then apparently forget all about the kidnapped man until the day after, when I tell my dad to go collect him at the store.

Hello Deep Seated Trauma!

Posted on May 30, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

My underwear is soaked in blood. I don’t want anyone to know, so I wash it in the sink. I don’t know how to dry it, I need to hide it.

In the living room my parents and siblings are gathered together, laughing. It’s raining outside. I need to go to school, but my mom asks me to go grocery shopping; sure, I’ll just skip school today, I don’t care.

Dad is upset hearing this. I tell him I don’t want to go to school anymore, I want to get a job, but he’s worried we’ll be in debt. No we won’t, I tell him, remember last year when I was doing both high school and college? Rules are stupid.

Mom is of course taking his side. I’m so angry at her, I grab and shake her. Why don’t you ever listen to me?! I say. She smiles a wry smile and doesn’t look at me. She’s small now, the size of a cat, and I lift her up and keep shaking. Why don’t you love me?! I yell. Why don’t you care about me?!

She doesn’t listen. She never listens.

Summer, Spring

Posted on May 26, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

It’s summer and I’m watching the night sky with my dad. The constellations are enormous and so clear, we can tell the images apart so easily. I point out a pharaoh, then a flying bat, then a gargoyle.

It’s Easter, I’m supposed to share a room with both my sister and my cousin, I am angry about it. I kick them out, then I realize I have to work with my cousin and she is going to make my life a living hell.

Little Worries

Posted on May 21, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

My sister is once again back home and we hate each other. She makes fun of my drawing of an… ancient Greek bust of a lady, I think. It’s too gay, apparently.

Gran is here too, I feel guilty because I’m napping instead of entertaining her. I haven’t seen her in months but she looks great, plump and with hair perfectly died and coiffed. We go out in town, I’m embarrassed because unlike hers, my hair is a mess. We walk next to a store with a big sign outside, it says,

We made these bottles of herbicide and you shouldn’t pour them over your heads, you EFFIN’ MORONS.

Back home, my dad offers to pay for some of my streaming services. I’m very happy and start listing them, then I wake up and realize I’m an adult and will have to pay for my own shit after all.

Blood And Dough

Posted on May 18, 2020 by Decade Dream Journal

I’m in my parking lot, from the fence I can see the nearby public park. There is a baby fox half hidden in the grass, looking at me with big eyes. I stop to take a picture of it, and I see two teens threatening a child with a metal baseball bat. One of them sees the baby fox and tries to pick it up, the mother (that happens to be a full grown, angry tiger) jumps on them; I hear blood-chilling screams and I see limbs being teared off, I’m so terrified that I run home.

*(Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash*)

I make sure that my cat is safe, then I go see my neighbor. The little boy from the park is there, the back of his head is missing and my neighbor is carefully bandaging it. I ask if he’s gonna be okay, she says,

“No, he’s gonna die tomorrow, but at least he’s not gonna expect it.”

She then tells me to call the police and explain what happen, I take my phone but someone stops my hand: he’s one of the teens, he has a blond mullet and one arm is missing. He tells me he’s a time traveler on a mission, I need to trust him and not tell anyone about his secret.

I’m filming a reality show with my dad. Our team is behind, we need to complete a recipe before we can be moved to the next location, a beautiful European beach city. I’m supposed to make rice pancakes, but there is cat identical to mine chilling in my bowl! I shoo him off, then painstakingly clean all the cat hair from the white dough. I’m all alone because dad is off driving my aunt home, but finally I make my pancakes.

I’m took not to the beach, but to a gray winter city. I’m not wearing a mask and feeling guilty about it, the production team gives me a dark brown one made of fabric. I get lost and end up in a pharmacy, the girl at the counter is pretty and I start flirting. I say I need to make a deposit and get from my bag an envelope filled to the brim with money. The girl’s eyes get enormous.

DECADE DREAM JOURNAL